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Sunday morning . Just got back from church. Tried a new one and have not been going for a while. I have always been a good Catholic boy out of habit and when the neighborhood church closed 3 years ago I stopped. So my new commitment is to find a church that I like. Today was the first time back.    I also have committed myself to a running group for their once a week timed runs. I have been meeting all of my friends in AA for the last 18 years and that is fine however I feel a need to venture out.    These are both just a part of the actions that I am taking to create a change in attitude and bring more growth and inspiration into my life.Sometimes I think that I close my eyes and hope that I if I wish hard enough I will change and feel better. That sounds a little stupid.     I have also started actively looking for a job. I need a little breather from working on my own. People keep calling for work and I have a hard time turning it down.      Last Sunday I quit going out with Brian. I know without a doubt that it is right. Some of my friends here expressed concern about me opening that relationship up again.Well it ended because he did not treat me in a way that I want to be treated or in a way that I treat others, most of the time.I will be in a relationship with someone that yells at me everyday and talks down to me. Oh I know my part, I let him get away with it again hoping if I closed my eyes it would get better. He is not typical of the guys that I choose to date but I have had one other relationship like this years ago, but it was much worse because it was physical also.     Growing up daily I told myself that when I grow up I would be around people that were nice and treated me with respect. I know that we all fall short sometimes and that sometimes people do not treat me the way I ant to be treate, we are human. It is when it is habitual that I cannot accept it.  Thats all for today.  :)