Better

I made it through one of my most difficult days.I went to a 12 step meeting tonight, and grabbed some friends after. I am not usually needy or in need of attention, but I have to say it was nice to have someone focus on me. I was asked to speak at a mtg. coming up and I though omg this is the worst time for me to pull some inspiration out of somewhere. I will find it if I look and I do have a responsibility. Also on another note, I have been thinking about, and mentioned to a couple of my friends about spending less time with my gay friends.It seems like what I want for my life and ever wanted was a relationship and children.It seems that most of my friends are into looking for and glorifying sexual conquests.I will not put judgement on that ,but it is not what I want for myself.I need more and it feels like thr more that I am around that thinking, the less likely that is to happen, I do know that there are others that feel the same and have families, I do know that it is realistic.It is not encouraged amongs my friends.Also i know that I need to pull out of this depression before that could even happen. Maybe part of my depression is feeling that I do not have enough purpose to be fullfilled.Okay thats enough.