Getting Better
I'm surprised to say that I'm actually in a good mood today. I feel like I haven't felt like this in a lot time and my body is actually confused, not sure whats going on and keeps wanting to tell me that I'm worried about something or that I'm actually sad but I have no reason to be. So right now it's just a struggle to keep my physiological state at happy haha.
i've gotten over a lot of the porn stuff. i told Mitch I'd be willing to send him pictures because Id much rather him have that than porn. So far he hasn't asked for any which is a little concerning because in the mean time...what is he doing? Has he figured out a way to take care of it without either? Kudos to him if he has I just don't know if he's going behind my back and saying he's not watching porn when he is. Though it seems like a problem I'm really just speculating here. I'm not really concerned and I'm going to ask him about it if his letter to me coming up doesn't explain. I sent him a letter and we've decided to go back and forth like this and I addressed it in the letter so I don't want to over address it.
We actually had a lot of serious talks the past week. About out future and what that means and his career , when he's going to start it or if he's ever going to start it. It was a lot of tough things to talk about. I was severely in a depressive state about a week ago. I wasn't sure if it was going to work out and I was really afraid he was just going to call it quits and just give up on us. But when looking back at our conversation nothing seems to be leading to any sort of conclusion like that.
I'm really glad he and I communicated so well. We ended up skyping to finalize a lot of our thoughts out loud so it wasn't misconstrued over text. A lot of his worry was his current interest in moving out to California right now. Instead of when he and I were planning to. He seemed mostly worried that I was going to break up with him because of this decision because it pushes back his plans to start his training and what not. But I reassured him that I've thought a lot about it and decided that if it makes him happy I want him to do that. I don't want to hold him back from whatever he wants to do (unless that compromises our relationship in any way haha).
He also talked about joining the coast guard. He was really concerned with what I thought about that but honestly I have no knowledge whatsoever what that would mean for us and our future. And neither does he really. I'm hoping when he goes and talks to someone about it, it can clear some things up for both of us. Kind of let us know where that leaves our relationship.
i've gotten over a lot of the porn stuff. i told Mitch I'd be willing to send him pictures because Id much rather him have that than porn. So far he hasn't asked for any which is a little concerning because in the mean time...what is he doing? Has he figured out a way to take care of it without either? Kudos to him if he has I just don't know if he's going behind my back and saying he's not watching porn when he is. Though it seems like a problem I'm really just speculating here. I'm not really concerned and I'm going to ask him about it if his letter to me coming up doesn't explain. I sent him a letter and we've decided to go back and forth like this and I addressed it in the letter so I don't want to over address it.
We actually had a lot of serious talks the past week. About out future and what that means and his career , when he's going to start it or if he's ever going to start it. It was a lot of tough things to talk about. I was severely in a depressive state about a week ago. I wasn't sure if it was going to work out and I was really afraid he was just going to call it quits and just give up on us. But when looking back at our conversation nothing seems to be leading to any sort of conclusion like that.
I'm really glad he and I communicated so well. We ended up skyping to finalize a lot of our thoughts out loud so it wasn't misconstrued over text. A lot of his worry was his current interest in moving out to California right now. Instead of when he and I were planning to. He seemed mostly worried that I was going to break up with him because of this decision because it pushes back his plans to start his training and what not. But I reassured him that I've thought a lot about it and decided that if it makes him happy I want him to do that. I don't want to hold him back from whatever he wants to do (unless that compromises our relationship in any way haha).
He also talked about joining the coast guard. He was really concerned with what I thought about that but honestly I have no knowledge whatsoever what that would mean for us and our future. And neither does he really. I'm hoping when he goes and talks to someone about it, it can clear some things up for both of us. Kind of let us know where that leaves our relationship.
Replies