5 years
Oh how I miss my Lisa. She was my daughter, friend and a loving, caring person. I keep asking "How have I survived these five lonely years?".
I survived another Angel Day. I was up late last night missing Lisa so much. Today, Joe and I walked to Chinatown for lunch and did some errands. In the afternoon, I was in bed doing crossword puzzles and fell asleep. That was the best part of the day - sleeping works well!
This evening our next door neigbours came by with a bottle of wine. We toasted Lisa. We are renovating our bathrooms so we also toasted to successful, speedy renos! Lisa would find it very funny to share a toast with bathroom renos!
The candles have been burning all day. I spent some time looking at old photos and crying. I know that only you, my SOTH understand how I feel.
I have had calls, emails and Facebook messages from friends of mine and Lisa's. It felt good knowing that she is not forgotten. One of her friends released a balloon for her. Manon was a bridesmaid and was with Lisa through most of her labour during Cevyn's birth. When Lisa's labour went on for way too long, she met the obstetrician at the elevator and told him to get his ass in gear and do something. Lisa had a C Section a couple of hours later. The doctor told me afterwards "Your daughter has a fierce advocate".
All these memories.
Lisa: I miss you always and love you forever. Mum
I survived another Angel Day. I was up late last night missing Lisa so much. Today, Joe and I walked to Chinatown for lunch and did some errands. In the afternoon, I was in bed doing crossword puzzles and fell asleep. That was the best part of the day - sleeping works well!
This evening our next door neigbours came by with a bottle of wine. We toasted Lisa. We are renovating our bathrooms so we also toasted to successful, speedy renos! Lisa would find it very funny to share a toast with bathroom renos!
The candles have been burning all day. I spent some time looking at old photos and crying. I know that only you, my SOTH understand how I feel.
I have had calls, emails and Facebook messages from friends of mine and Lisa's. It felt good knowing that she is not forgotten. One of her friends released a balloon for her. Manon was a bridesmaid and was with Lisa through most of her labour during Cevyn's birth. When Lisa's labour went on for way too long, she met the obstetrician at the elevator and told him to get his ass in gear and do something. Lisa had a C Section a couple of hours later. The doctor told me afterwards "Your daughter has a fierce advocate".
All these memories.
Lisa: I miss you always and love you forever. Mum
Replies
I am glad that you are able to find some comfort with friends and family. I can relate my Chelsea had her 19th birthday 2 weeks ago. The only person who called me was her dad. I am so lonely without her. Today I opened some winter clothes that were in a sealed bag they smelled just like her my heart is breaking all over again. I hate this
I am glad you made it through..I think that sometimes the anticipation of the day ..the days just before are worse then the day...there was an odd peace about yesterday. I think it was the prayers and Patricks presence ..lots of flickering lights..hugs, Lauri
Angel days are hard. I try my best to not recognize the day because it doesn\'t really matter what number is on the calendar I miss Jason every day just as you miss Lisa every moment of every day. This Thanksgiving was very festive for me..the most since Jason death...and when my thoughts turned to Jason as they always do it was even more painful than usual because we were having such a good time and I really wished he was with us to share it.
How is you hubby doing Marlene. How is it looking for still going to India in February?...it\'s only 2 months away now.
Sending healing thoughts and prayers,
Terry
Marlene,
Adding my love to the love already here, soth.
Leda
Having a husband must help...to comfort you....My husband died 5 years before my son did and some times the pain is so deep and not one person here to comfort me...Just cry all you need to!! what ever it takes to make it through....It is a forever hurt, but we\" soth\" understand every little tear that is shed..Hugs
It feels as if you navigated the day just as you needed to. A full tummy and a nap go hand in hand. :)
Understanding the longing and missing of your precious daughter that is daily and felt in the marrow of our mother\'s bones on these most tender of days.
Loving care dear Marlene and thinking of you and your beloved Lisa,
XO Joanie
Angel days are a test of ones strength and sanity. We manage to get through the day minute by minute. Mine is coming on the 20th. I have a candle run on battery so I can take it to work and put it on my desk I have a picture on Mike and I by the Christmas tree the last picture I have with the both of us in it. I brought is out and did not remember he was so tall. The little things that we forget only to remember once again.
Send Love and tight hugs with a tall glass of wine
Penny
Marlene you are so accurate when you say that only the mothers can understand. Thank you for giving me the smallest of glimpses into your amazing and much loved daughter. I share her smile and sense of humor in that sharing a toast with a bathroom reno would make her smile. Sometimes when I am able to be in so much pain yet see the humor in things I wonder if I\'m going crazy yet, here we all are.
If there were only some way to release the pain we all share and that bonds us together, probably forever.
Lisa has a great Mom, you have to know that. My heart hurts just thinking of the pain and knowing that the second angelversary for Jason isn\'t that far away. How each of us maneuver the tenderest of times is something we just do, isn\'t it?
Tightest of hugs my friend,
Merrilee
i know just what you mean! the terrible first of the month! Jacob is still so alive to me, it\'s hard to accept that he\'s not. Fourr and a half years, in March 1, it will be five. So long, and the suffering still so intense. Our adult children who were going to be such good companions in our older years. I wish I could at least see his son, dear Chaim Josef. Not to be.
My grandson, Jeremy, is going to be in Israel for ten days this month. Hoping he can meet his cousin Mimi, my Israeli grandkid. They have no computors, so it\'s not easy to reach them. I know the cousins would find one another fascinating. Doing my best. Love You and beautiful Lisa, Abby and Jake
What an extra special daughter Lisa is now and forever. The closeness you have shared is awe inspiring. That makes the missing and longing that much harder. Thank heaven for good friends and family. May her lovely memory be with you and give you peace. Thinking of you...
Hugs, Debbie
1 year......3 years.....5 years......how do we do it? We really can\'t explain it but we do know that we are doing it together, our broken hearts intertwined. Lisa will always & forever be your baby girl. Loving hugs
Lisa was so very happy to be your daughter. The joy of having her is now the heartache of losing that we have in common. I hope her arms are around you in love. Hugs, Kathy
I am sure Lisa was laughing when you toasted bathroom renos. I do so understand - the missing can always bring us to our knees. Hugs, Ann
I have some great pics of bathrooms I\'ve saved... Tell Lisa to come see me and tell me what she thinks... *S*
The 5 year mark seems so impossible to know it has happened and that on that first days we never felt we could make it another day and now for you for me the 5 year mark has passed for you and mine so very close. It has been a very hard year I think. You have walked with me every step of the way, thank you for being here for me. As it seems we go forward we step back. Those days we hold on to each other. Thank you for being there for me. I hope I have been there for you. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Sandi