5 Weeks Postpartum and Feeling...Meh.
This will be my first journal entry.
5 weeks ago, I had a beautiful baby boy named, Kyren Alphonso. He was 2.5 weeks early via c-section, but came out healthy and ready to thrive. During my pregnancy, I had various issues that made my anxiety sky rocket. Shortness of breath and heart palpitations pretty much plagued me for the majority of my pregnancy. This made me worry about the same ole things...heart problems, blood clots, etc....
As mentioned above, I had to have a c-section. This was unplanned and my first c-section after 4 vaginal births. After having Kyren and the euphoria wore off, I began having blood pressure issues. I was hospitalized a week after delivery because my blood pressure soared and they were worried about something called pre-eclampsia. I was put on a magnesium drip and my meds were increased. My blood pressure is still not regulated, but I have made a decision to not check it obsessively. This decision has made my anxiety about it go WAY down. I figure it is God's hands, so why worry?
As of today, I feel...well like my title says...meh. I have to say, I feel better than I have been anxiety wise, but still not great. My whole body hurts. I get random pains in different parts of my body which in turn makes my anxiety start all over again. I get the victory over one thought and them 10 more invade.
An example would be; tonight while driving home, I got a pain in my left inner breast. The thoughts automatically began to flood in. This is an unfamiliar pain to me, so I instantly start thinking of all the things that could be wrong. Of course they are all sinister thoughts. Right now as I sit here, I am anxious and don't even know why. The pain has actually subsided, but I am still anxious about it. The familiar constant pains are what I am feeling now, but yet the anxiety from the pain that has passed is still lingering. This is normal for me....
I am making conscious steps to turn off these thoughts. No matter how many times they storm my brain, I will say a prayer each time and tell my self......"it's just anxiety".
5 weeks ago, I had a beautiful baby boy named, Kyren Alphonso. He was 2.5 weeks early via c-section, but came out healthy and ready to thrive. During my pregnancy, I had various issues that made my anxiety sky rocket. Shortness of breath and heart palpitations pretty much plagued me for the majority of my pregnancy. This made me worry about the same ole things...heart problems, blood clots, etc....
As mentioned above, I had to have a c-section. This was unplanned and my first c-section after 4 vaginal births. After having Kyren and the euphoria wore off, I began having blood pressure issues. I was hospitalized a week after delivery because my blood pressure soared and they were worried about something called pre-eclampsia. I was put on a magnesium drip and my meds were increased. My blood pressure is still not regulated, but I have made a decision to not check it obsessively. This decision has made my anxiety about it go WAY down. I figure it is God's hands, so why worry?
As of today, I feel...well like my title says...meh. I have to say, I feel better than I have been anxiety wise, but still not great. My whole body hurts. I get random pains in different parts of my body which in turn makes my anxiety start all over again. I get the victory over one thought and them 10 more invade.
An example would be; tonight while driving home, I got a pain in my left inner breast. The thoughts automatically began to flood in. This is an unfamiliar pain to me, so I instantly start thinking of all the things that could be wrong. Of course they are all sinister thoughts. Right now as I sit here, I am anxious and don't even know why. The pain has actually subsided, but I am still anxious about it. The familiar constant pains are what I am feeling now, but yet the anxiety from the pain that has passed is still lingering. This is normal for me....
I am making conscious steps to turn off these thoughts. No matter how many times they storm my brain, I will say a prayer each time and tell my self......"it's just anxiety".
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