5 am... and it's started
She wasn't happy I said no to Minecraft at 5 am when she didn't fall asleep until 10 the night before... and threw something at me. I wish I knew if it was the glass, the piano book... and then yelled and stormed off. I had to go and turn the light off and still she did. I feel bad for her friend.
I then think of how hopeless it all is, how her father is an actual psychopath with no empathy, being completely incapable of it. With no emotions except those that benefit him (oh he could cry, to get what he wanted or to manipulate). How the FIL used to go into black rages and not remember what he did when he was in his early 20s, those the FIL was Mennonite until he was 5 and then bounced around foster care until a family adopted him. How the ex had rages even though everyone else regarded him as controlled, how with genetics it appears that pyschopathy was passed down to my daughter as she destroys property (wood items around the house carved, thrown, rips, crumples, cuts) as she refuses to listen to the fact that the cats are yowling as she picks them up, makes them dance, locks them up, refuses to let them go. She has crossed the border into physically pushing me, hitting me 4 times in the last month.
All that.. and then I see the 1:30 AM text of Grr from the bf indicating that he's up half the night, or woke up, and still just thinking about sex. After the feelings of before that I'm not worth the effort to talk to if he need isn't satisfied.
And not even 5:10 AM.
I then think of how hopeless it all is, how her father is an actual psychopath with no empathy, being completely incapable of it. With no emotions except those that benefit him (oh he could cry, to get what he wanted or to manipulate). How the FIL used to go into black rages and not remember what he did when he was in his early 20s, those the FIL was Mennonite until he was 5 and then bounced around foster care until a family adopted him. How the ex had rages even though everyone else regarded him as controlled, how with genetics it appears that pyschopathy was passed down to my daughter as she destroys property (wood items around the house carved, thrown, rips, crumples, cuts) as she refuses to listen to the fact that the cats are yowling as she picks them up, makes them dance, locks them up, refuses to let them go. She has crossed the border into physically pushing me, hitting me 4 times in the last month.
All that.. and then I see the 1:30 AM text of Grr from the bf indicating that he's up half the night, or woke up, and still just thinking about sex. After the feelings of before that I'm not worth the effort to talk to if he need isn't satisfied.
And not even 5:10 AM.
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