i had a weird thing happen the other night that i wanted to throw out to all of you and get your thoughts on...C and I were driving back from 'date night' (our weekly foray into meals that don't involve Mac and Cheese), and we stopped at a light in Beverly Hills. An older man (60's? 50's?) in glasses and a hat immediately steps off the curb and comes over to my side of the car, puts his hand on the roof and asks me to roll down the window. Without thinking much about it, I crack the window, and he profusely thanks me and says "I'm not asking for money...I'm an actor from Seattle...I'm just trying to get to my hotel in Century City [ which is about 1 mile away, if that ] and the busses aren't here and I need a ride...you're so nice for hearing me out...." and he keeps talking about what a nice manner I have and how grateful he'd be for a ride.Surprisingly, I consider the proposition...he looks relatively harmless, if slightly erratic, but I ask C what she wants to do and she immediately says "no". Now, mind you, I routinely make fun of the time that I came home from work many years ago and a large man was standing in our hallways, having convinced C 1) to let him in our house with her alone, and 2) to purchase a number of wildly overpriced magazine subscriptions. I thought she was nuts and continually remind her never to do things like that. Anyway, I said "sorry", and drove away, feeling slightly guilty. I've rationalized that it was a somewhat bizarre request the man was making, given that a) Century City is so close (you could see it from where he was asking), and b) there's no hotels in Century City for less than $300/night, which means he could easily afford other transportation than a nighttime Los Angeles public bus.Still, in my old age I've gotten to be in more of a "give back" mode, and I was presented with an opportunity to give back and I didn't.What you think?D

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

that\'s a tough one. I\'m reminded of the exorcism to cure blindness encounter we had a few months back. I\'m with you. I\'m always perplexed at these scenarios. I want to help as well but these situations also present a very serious risk. Would you have reacted differently if C wasn\'t in the car? Perhaps we long for altruism but on our own conditions? I\'m not sure. Sometimes I feel that I\'m being tested and I\'ll lose sleep over scenarios like this for weeks on end. You did the right thing. Perhaps the best reaction is to help but to help in a fashion that is different from the offer. \"Let me call your hotel for you and arrange a ride\". You get the idea . . .
deleted_user
deleted_user

I understand your guilt, BUT in this day and age, it is probably much safer to do what you did. Actually, remember Ted Bundy? He was an intelligent, well-spoken, nice looking man too! Someday you may find out that guy was either a mass murderer or becomes an Oscar winning actor, LOL. Use the system I use--ask yourself this \"What are the risks?\" Giving a five to a stranger on the street is not a risk, but a stranger in your closed car with you and your wife IS A BIG ONE!! Let go of that misplaced guilt!! Love & great big hugs, Robbin
deleted_user
deleted_user

You did the right thing. There are a ton of ways to \"give back.\" I don\'t think a strange man knocking on your window is one of them. Let go of the guilt (afterall, it\'s Rosh Hashanah, time to let go of regrets). So tomorrow, do a good deed to make yourself feel better... I\'m also a big fan of pay-it-forward but in this situation, it just wouldn\'t have felt right.
deleted_user
deleted_user

OK... I am a huge believer in karma and giving back to the universe. Perhaps offering to call a cab would be a better .. safer option.... I am with Grant on this one....
deleted_user
deleted_user

You are going to give me nightmares. Pleeease -find another way to give back. Picture Z posing the same question. Sure, many years ago you might have considered being kind and giving a fella a ride. Today never. We all know you have the biggest heart, but this was just not safe. I have enough grey hair, so please don\'t add to it.
deleted_user
deleted_user

oh doug you are also going to give nightmares too. I agree with amama. It is a nasty world out there and it would definately not be safe to pick someone up like that when he could just walk a mile. That was really scary. Be safe, don\'t take chances like that and go visit a nursing home where they need to be given back to. Or don\'t, just a thought. Glad you made the safer choice.
deleted_user
deleted_user

i am a BIG believer in helping people out, but it is such a mean world out there today that you have to put you&yours first...
deleted_user
deleted_user

Okay.... you asked. I think you were given an opportunity to do the right thing and not put yourself and C in danger. I would have done one of two things. Given him $20.00 for a taxi or just pointed him in the diretion of Century City. Especially if he didn\'t have any broken limbs and looked healthy enough to walk. No way would I have given him a ride. Let me tell you about something that happened in a little sleepy town of St. George, Utah. It\'s just up the road from Las Vegas.
A salesman stopped to help a gentleman who was hitchhiking and looked harmless, 50 ish. Between St. George and Las Vegas is pretty much dessert and he didn\'t want to leave him out there. About 15 minutes into the ride, the hitchhiker pulls out a knife and slices the drivers throat... Kicks him out of the car an takes off. The salesman is holding his throat and trying to walk back to St. George. A police officer finds him and saves his life!!! You absolutely did the right thing.