so this entry's about me. someone i don't seem to write about very often.
i'm currently listening to music (Keane's 2004 'Hopes and Fears' album, if you're curious), and it always brings me back to my 20's, hell, even my teens, and reminds me of the 'passionate years', when i spent nights air-guitaring in my underwear as i rocked out to The Smiths, The Cure, New Order, Counting Crows (sorry), Psychedelic Furs, Depeche Mode and a host of much more forgettable bands (The Housemartins, Billy Bragg, etc). reminiscing is dangerous for me, as this journal entry will attest to.
what's odd these days about my reminiscing is that those days are starting to seem like so, so long ago. even a year or two ago, i felt like it was relatively easy to 'go back' to those days, and remember what it was like to eat ramen, sleep on a futon, etc. but now, as i enter my 36th year, i find myself absentmindedly singing The Sound of Music (because my 4-year-old loves it) instead of "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" (The Smiths, The Queen Is Dead), and recalling anything from the '80's gets harder and harder to do (despite the never-ending bombardment of nostalgia courtesy of VH1).
i guess it's more like i am firmly entrenched in adulthood, and i find it harder (though not impossible) to remember how to be a kid. could i travel around the world with my wife again, staying in yak huts and eating dahl bat? i could, but getting evian-spritzed at the four seasons hualalai sounds like a pretty good alternative too. i find myself approaching things from an adult perspective, where ease and comfort take precedence to risk and stupidity.
i'm not necessarily depressed about it, just more surprised at how quickly we grow old, and how it seems the pace of life has quickened as i've watched my kids turn into little people.
not sure where i'm going with this, so i'll end it here, but lemme know if you have any idea what i'm talking about.
i'm currently listening to music (Keane's 2004 'Hopes and Fears' album, if you're curious), and it always brings me back to my 20's, hell, even my teens, and reminds me of the 'passionate years', when i spent nights air-guitaring in my underwear as i rocked out to The Smiths, The Cure, New Order, Counting Crows (sorry), Psychedelic Furs, Depeche Mode and a host of much more forgettable bands (The Housemartins, Billy Bragg, etc). reminiscing is dangerous for me, as this journal entry will attest to.
what's odd these days about my reminiscing is that those days are starting to seem like so, so long ago. even a year or two ago, i felt like it was relatively easy to 'go back' to those days, and remember what it was like to eat ramen, sleep on a futon, etc. but now, as i enter my 36th year, i find myself absentmindedly singing The Sound of Music (because my 4-year-old loves it) instead of "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" (The Smiths, The Queen Is Dead), and recalling anything from the '80's gets harder and harder to do (despite the never-ending bombardment of nostalgia courtesy of VH1).
i guess it's more like i am firmly entrenched in adulthood, and i find it harder (though not impossible) to remember how to be a kid. could i travel around the world with my wife again, staying in yak huts and eating dahl bat? i could, but getting evian-spritzed at the four seasons hualalai sounds like a pretty good alternative too. i find myself approaching things from an adult perspective, where ease and comfort take precedence to risk and stupidity.
i'm not necessarily depressed about it, just more surprised at how quickly we grow old, and how it seems the pace of life has quickened as i've watched my kids turn into little people.
not sure where i'm going with this, so i'll end it here, but lemme know if you have any idea what i'm talking about.
Replies
i think back to my times of youth and how things/priorities have changed and i am only 24;O
What I do know for a fact is that life is a gift. So cherish every moment you have of it. Its not so much about being able to remember all the exact details of your youth because everybody knows memory decays much more as you get older but rather its about even having any memories at all.
Let me put this into perspective, when I got back from my one-week, exhausting but rejuvenating Florida trip December \'05, the very next day I got into a life-altering car accident and was in a coma for two months. Was discharged in March and spent three months in China on Eastern Medicinal Treatment. The point is that everything from the day I got back from my accident and till I went into rehab after I \"woke up\" I COULD NOT REMEMBER! It was like it never happened. Part of my life was erased.
So you don\'t know how much I envy you guys who can even vaguely remember what happened or reminisce about those times or just \"go back in time\"
Up until now I still feel the urge to take a drive back to my accident site to see if I can jolt some memories and trigger lost thoughts.
I understand what you are saying Doug....I go back to my college days with sincere envy! I didn\'t realize, as youth often does, what a special, free time that was. I should have soaked up all that studio space. I should have attended every single function I could....Well I did. I was the person who took a million pic\'s at everything, trying to hold on to that special time. Now with kids, a spouse, a mortgage, car payments.....Well I would love to go back to the time where all that mattered was me! If I made it to class, if I had enough ramon! I love my life now, but sometimes, how I wish I could have the ease of my college days! Lollie
doug i understand..have you ever listened to an older station that plays like only 70\'s or whatever? i think to my self this is all the songs made then and they\'re mine..i can\'t even play a jukebox anymore cause i don\'t know who the groups are!! that\'s old!:)
I totally hear you.
ahhh don\'t grow up...I haven\'t...lol...it\'s hard to not \"think\" like an adult because we\'re taught through life to \"act your age\"....what makes it harder still is that NOW we are so worried about what everyone else thinks of us but as a child we didn\'t care what anyone thought...so...my advice is....dance like no one is watching!! And visit my journal here and there and let me show you my ways grasshopper...lol...Lots of Love Always!!
From one accomplished air guitarist to another, keep remembering the past.
It makes it stay fresh in your mind.
Billy
It is funny you think that. I often wonder, when we were children, we cried when it was time to end the day and have to go to sleep. The next day we would wake up with the energy of starting a new day like we had craved it all night. And yet, as adults we often can\'t wait to go to sleep and seldom want to pry ourselves from the warmth under the covers in the morning. WHEN DID THAT CHANGE and WHY?
iam new to this so here it goes.there is a beauitful peace when we walk into our children\'s room no matter how old they are,but it does comes twice as beauitful when they look up @me and ask if i\'m ok.i know @that moment that i am truley blessed no matter how much i hurt inside for all the pain james has caused me and these angels.
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