4th of July
Well, I'm back from England. The site-seeing part was incredible and I thoroughly enjoyed it. However, traveling with my 18 year old son, was... challenging to say the least. We have always had a close relationship until about 6 months ago (his first girlfriend). Now he's full of blame, anger, and takes no responsibility for his behaviors. He's someone I don't recognize. It's very upsetting and I think I've cried more in the last week than I have in a long time. His perception of who I am is completely off base and in fact, shocked me what came out of his mouth. He has an answer for everything and uses bullying tactics to make a point. It was an eye-opener for me on this trip and has made be very sad for the son that is no longer there. Everyone mom wants to look at their child in pride of how their child has matured, I'm not so sure at this point I can do that. This isn't easy for me to write, as I feel like a failure as a mother. I do have to say, while we were gone, we did A LOT of walking every day. I didn't want to lose the momentum, so I did workout for an hour on the precor burning 650 calories. I haven't much of an appetite so I'll just eat when I get hungry. I'm starting back on my eating plan right away and trying to get back to a sense of what's normal.
Replies
my big brother was the same way with my mother and still is sometimes but it has gotten a lot better. he\'s 21 now and he still has a hard time taking responsibility for anything. your son probably wants to be in control of his own life. since he\'s 18 he just doesn\'t want to take anyone elses advice in to consideration. he feels as though he\'s being attacked every time you make a suggestion, maybe. i don\'t know how you two are in person so i can\'t really say but i really think he still loves you he\'s just fruserated and has trouble expressing it in ways besides anger. have a wonderful 4th!
Jessi, you are a little angel. You have great insite. He tells me all the time I\'m attacking him, no matter how calmly I suggest something to him. I know he is trying to find his way, but his being disrespectful isn\'t gonna help either or us. It is wearing me down. Have a great 4th of July too!
I don\'t have an 18 year, but I have grown up with an older cousin who thought he was grown once he turned 18 and got a girlfriend. One thing I do know is that when our little ones turn into adults, they lose their damned minds! Your son thinks that because he is 18 now, with a girlfriend-he can say and do what he wants. This says nothing about the way you have raised him, it just means that he is trying to find his own way. He feels that because he is an adult(in his own mind) that his MOM should have nothing to say about how he lives his life. My suggestion: give him space, but let him know in no uncertain terms that you will NOT be disrespected. Until he can take care of himself and pay his own way in life-you are his provider. He needs to understand that YOU are the parent. You have sacrificed tooo much to have him be disrepsectful to you. THAT is unacceptable. Boys go through things like this once they turn 18-shoot girls go through that when they turn 18. Like I said, just give him his space, but he MUST respect you. He wants to have his own life now and not be under his Mom. He will come back to reality soon enough, he\'s just feeling himself right now. Oh, and he just graduated from high school too? Yeah, he really thinks that he is grown. We know better, but he will learn soon enough that being an adult means more than turning 18 and graudating from high school. Keep your head and just know that you did a GREAT job. Believe me, there are not many kids who get to go to England on vacation. *smile* I\'m here if you need me.