Today is Wednesday, March 28, 2007. Since writing on Friday, my days have pretty much been packed full of events and have sucked (pardon the French).
On Friday late afternoon I decided to make the 45 minute trek up north to my parents to get their phone, internet and television service set up at their new house. After my husband got off work he came up, loaded up a bunch of boxes in our mini-van and we headed home around 9:30pm.
On Saturday morning my husband took the load of boxes picked up the night before over to my parents new house and unloaded them. Then in an attempt to make the most of my husband's vacation, we went to the Zoo which was nice; but hot and crowded, we went to his parents for dinner, we then went to my parents for another load of boxes and then home by 10:00pm.
On Sunday morning my husband took the second load of boxes over to my parents new house, we took Gracie to a nearby park, came back home, I took a nap and my husband took our daughter to the playground located at the school directly behind our house.
On Monday we made the 45 minute trip again up north to pick up his mom so that she could go with us to The Magic House, (a wonderfully scientific and fun place to children to go to play and learn) we went to lunch with her, dropped her and our daughter off at their house, went to my parents house for another load of boxes, went back and picked our daughter up and went home.
And then there's yesterday.
First of all, it dawned on me sometime mid-morning that yesterday was my ex-best friends birthday which really got the ball of sadness rolling at a good speed. This girl was my best friend for 10 years and my Maid of Honor in my wedding before she betrayed my trust. See what happened was that we asked her to move into our house during the summer of 1999 for a week to care for our dog and keep an eye on the house while we went to Florida. We told her that IN THE EVENT OF AN EMERGENCY, she was more than welcome to take our car that we were leaving behind anywhere that she needed to, we advised her that our dog could go out on a runner in the backyard IF SHE WAS GOING TO STAY OUT WITH HER BUT NOT TO LEAVE HER OUT and we extended the offer for her to use our computer TO DO HOMEWORK since she was back in college at the time if she needed to. Here's where things went awry. My father-in-law saw her be-bopping around town in our car (no emergency was had), she left the dog tied up out in the yard long enough for her to dig three huge holes AND WORST OF ALL.... she and her boyfriend utilized our computer to hit porn sites, thus picking up a virus which caused our hard drive to crash which in turn caused us to lose everything. Needless to say after realizing the severity of what had occurred, I confronted her, she got defensive, denied everything and we haven't talked ever since which truly broke my heart. This is why realizing that her birthday was yesterday was such a sad thing.
Then I came to the realization that my Grandma's Visitation for her Funeral was 8 years ago yesterday which just added to the already huge pile of sadness.
So anyway, we went back up to my parents, my husband took one load of pictures, mirrors and lamps out to their new house, came back, we ate dinner, he loaded up another mini-van full of boxes, we visited for a bit longer and headed home around 6:30pm. When we got home we decided to sit and watch the American Idol Episode from last night that we had TIVO'd and what came on? Haley Scarnato singing, "True Colors" which just happened to be the song that was played for our wedding party dance at our wedding which included my ex-best friend so needless to say more tears started flowing. My husband asked why I was crying and when I told him that I am just so tired of losing in life, he agreed. In the almost 12 years that we've been together we've had both of his Grandma's, his Great Aunt, my Grandma, his best friend (my best friends husband) and our precious Angela Christine all pass away. We've also lost touch with over half of the people that were in our wedding and we've faced trial and tribulations beyond any type of belief.
So anyway, needless to say seeing the light at the end of the tunnel just doesn't seem possible right now but somehow I'll keep trudging along.
On Friday late afternoon I decided to make the 45 minute trek up north to my parents to get their phone, internet and television service set up at their new house. After my husband got off work he came up, loaded up a bunch of boxes in our mini-van and we headed home around 9:30pm.
On Saturday morning my husband took the load of boxes picked up the night before over to my parents new house and unloaded them. Then in an attempt to make the most of my husband's vacation, we went to the Zoo which was nice; but hot and crowded, we went to his parents for dinner, we then went to my parents for another load of boxes and then home by 10:00pm.
On Sunday morning my husband took the second load of boxes over to my parents new house, we took Gracie to a nearby park, came back home, I took a nap and my husband took our daughter to the playground located at the school directly behind our house.
On Monday we made the 45 minute trip again up north to pick up his mom so that she could go with us to The Magic House, (a wonderfully scientific and fun place to children to go to play and learn) we went to lunch with her, dropped her and our daughter off at their house, went to my parents house for another load of boxes, went back and picked our daughter up and went home.
And then there's yesterday.
First of all, it dawned on me sometime mid-morning that yesterday was my ex-best friends birthday which really got the ball of sadness rolling at a good speed. This girl was my best friend for 10 years and my Maid of Honor in my wedding before she betrayed my trust. See what happened was that we asked her to move into our house during the summer of 1999 for a week to care for our dog and keep an eye on the house while we went to Florida. We told her that IN THE EVENT OF AN EMERGENCY, she was more than welcome to take our car that we were leaving behind anywhere that she needed to, we advised her that our dog could go out on a runner in the backyard IF SHE WAS GOING TO STAY OUT WITH HER BUT NOT TO LEAVE HER OUT and we extended the offer for her to use our computer TO DO HOMEWORK since she was back in college at the time if she needed to. Here's where things went awry. My father-in-law saw her be-bopping around town in our car (no emergency was had), she left the dog tied up out in the yard long enough for her to dig three huge holes AND WORST OF ALL.... she and her boyfriend utilized our computer to hit porn sites, thus picking up a virus which caused our hard drive to crash which in turn caused us to lose everything. Needless to say after realizing the severity of what had occurred, I confronted her, she got defensive, denied everything and we haven't talked ever since which truly broke my heart. This is why realizing that her birthday was yesterday was such a sad thing.
Then I came to the realization that my Grandma's Visitation for her Funeral was 8 years ago yesterday which just added to the already huge pile of sadness.
So anyway, we went back up to my parents, my husband took one load of pictures, mirrors and lamps out to their new house, came back, we ate dinner, he loaded up another mini-van full of boxes, we visited for a bit longer and headed home around 6:30pm. When we got home we decided to sit and watch the American Idol Episode from last night that we had TIVO'd and what came on? Haley Scarnato singing, "True Colors" which just happened to be the song that was played for our wedding party dance at our wedding which included my ex-best friend so needless to say more tears started flowing. My husband asked why I was crying and when I told him that I am just so tired of losing in life, he agreed. In the almost 12 years that we've been together we've had both of his Grandma's, his Great Aunt, my Grandma, his best friend (my best friends husband) and our precious Angela Christine all pass away. We've also lost touch with over half of the people that were in our wedding and we've faced trial and tribulations beyond any type of belief.
So anyway, needless to say seeing the light at the end of the tunnel just doesn't seem possible right now but somehow I'll keep trudging along.
Replies
I know its so hard to take, and there doesn\'t seem like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It also seems like when I am having a bad day with the loss, everything else seems to go wrong too. But try to hold on to the fact that you will have good days too. Hand in there, and I am here if you need to talk.
Hi, I am sorry to hear about your best friend,it is so hard to lose a friend over things like that.I know when Im sad all the hurt and past sadnesses will pop up and just compound the sadness into one big crying mess. This is truly the hardest thing,I think to get through,you will see light I know you will.when the worst has happened, things can only get better. Love and prayers always, Kate