Today is Monday, March 05, 2007. Ok, so I have to admit that I have gotten a little too laid back when it comes to my using the journal but then again life has been crazy to say the least.
Last Wednesday, February 28, 2007 my daughter woke up with a temperature of 102.2. During the day it went down, but it jumped back up to 101.8 at bedtime. By 10:00pm she had such severe chills and was trembling so hard that we put a call in to her Pediatrician. The Doc advised us to give her both Tylenol and Motrin in alternating doses every three hours and to come in on Thursday. Thursday morning her temp was 101.1. We went in to see the Doc and she said everything (ears, nose, throat and chest) seemed fine. Due to the fact that my daughter has always been predisposed to bladder infections (she has had Kidney Reflux since birth) she collected a Urine sample, dip tested it in the office and sent it off for further testing to be done. Thursday afternoon her temp went down to 99.0, however as of late Thursday night her temp was back up to 102.3. On Wednesday all that she complained about were her tummy and her head hurting. On Thursday night she said that everything hurt. On Friday morning her temp was below normal but I knew better than to hold my breath that it was completely gone. Sure enough it came back with a vengeance Friday afternoon. Friday night she was still running a fever however by Saturday morning it was gone and thankfully it did not come back. She still acted punky all day Saturday and Sunday but today even though she looked pale I sent her to school. By the time she came home her nose was running and she had a nasty little cough started. Guess I made a bad judgment call. Oh well!
Back tracking a bit, on Saturday night although I dreaded it; I attended a 40th birthday party of one my husbands best friends. While I knew that they were going to ask how I was doing I wasnt prepared to have one of them blurt out, "By the way, I am so sorry to hear about your baby". What was I supposed to say to that? All that came out of my mouth was, "Thank you. We know that it wasn't meant to be but still it pretty much sucks." Does that sound stupid? Now mind you, the woman that made that comment is a 36 year old childless woman whom has absolutely no intention of ever having children so in my opinion she really just doesn't get it! Oh well... I'll get over it!
Yesterday I had a bad day. I cried on two different occasions last night. One time would have probably been enough, but my daughter whom is 4.5 years old and who already worries way too much about everything in life came in to my bedroom where I was so I had to turn it off once again. My reason for the crying is due to the fact that it dawned on me that even though I refused authorization of Genetic Tests to be run on the baby & placenta at the hospital on the day of the D&C, my way out of line OB/GYN called my insurance company, asked for authorization and ordered it to done. How do I know that this occurred? Well after replaying my 2 week post-op appointment in my mind over and over again, I recalled the following conversation. My OB/GYN told me that, After leaving the hospital on the day of the D&C I was thinking about your request to have the hospital "hold" the "products of conception" and I realized just how genius it was so I went back to the office and had one of the office girls call the insurance company to see if they'd cover Genetic testing. They said they would so we went ahead and had it done. The test results should be back in about 3 or 4 weeks. At that point in time I asked her if we would be able to determine the sex of the baby and she said yes. I was so excited to hear this news that the rest of it all kind of ran together. Anyway, in retrospect I have to admit that I am mega offended that she betrayed our instructions even though it is going to allow us to determine the sex. Guess its just another reason to change doctors huh?
Today was an okay day. I went and visited with the neighbors that live on both sides of me which seems to help in the distraction department but tonight I am feeling quite anxious. If you think of it, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers over the next 4 or 5 days. My reason for feeling anxious and for asking for your thoughts and prayers is due to the fact that tomorrow is one month to the day from when we found out that we had lost the baby and Friday is one month to the day from when I had my sweet little lifeless Angel stripped from my womb (when I had my D&C done). Sorry if that sounds harsh to you guys. That is just what I feel happened. Also, I am going to have to make a decision on what type of Urn I want to put the ashes of my baby Angela Christine into so that my husband can finally bring her home. Even though she was cremated back on February 17th I havent been able to come to terms with him bringing her/the ashes home but he hasnt been able to rest without her here and I know it is time. I just need all the support, love, strength and compassion that I can get right now.
Oh well, I have to go get him up out of our daughters bed. Have a wonderful night everyone and take care!
Last Wednesday, February 28, 2007 my daughter woke up with a temperature of 102.2. During the day it went down, but it jumped back up to 101.8 at bedtime. By 10:00pm she had such severe chills and was trembling so hard that we put a call in to her Pediatrician. The Doc advised us to give her both Tylenol and Motrin in alternating doses every three hours and to come in on Thursday. Thursday morning her temp was 101.1. We went in to see the Doc and she said everything (ears, nose, throat and chest) seemed fine. Due to the fact that my daughter has always been predisposed to bladder infections (she has had Kidney Reflux since birth) she collected a Urine sample, dip tested it in the office and sent it off for further testing to be done. Thursday afternoon her temp went down to 99.0, however as of late Thursday night her temp was back up to 102.3. On Wednesday all that she complained about were her tummy and her head hurting. On Thursday night she said that everything hurt. On Friday morning her temp was below normal but I knew better than to hold my breath that it was completely gone. Sure enough it came back with a vengeance Friday afternoon. Friday night she was still running a fever however by Saturday morning it was gone and thankfully it did not come back. She still acted punky all day Saturday and Sunday but today even though she looked pale I sent her to school. By the time she came home her nose was running and she had a nasty little cough started. Guess I made a bad judgment call. Oh well!
Back tracking a bit, on Saturday night although I dreaded it; I attended a 40th birthday party of one my husbands best friends. While I knew that they were going to ask how I was doing I wasnt prepared to have one of them blurt out, "By the way, I am so sorry to hear about your baby". What was I supposed to say to that? All that came out of my mouth was, "Thank you. We know that it wasn't meant to be but still it pretty much sucks." Does that sound stupid? Now mind you, the woman that made that comment is a 36 year old childless woman whom has absolutely no intention of ever having children so in my opinion she really just doesn't get it! Oh well... I'll get over it!
Yesterday I had a bad day. I cried on two different occasions last night. One time would have probably been enough, but my daughter whom is 4.5 years old and who already worries way too much about everything in life came in to my bedroom where I was so I had to turn it off once again. My reason for the crying is due to the fact that it dawned on me that even though I refused authorization of Genetic Tests to be run on the baby & placenta at the hospital on the day of the D&C, my way out of line OB/GYN called my insurance company, asked for authorization and ordered it to done. How do I know that this occurred? Well after replaying my 2 week post-op appointment in my mind over and over again, I recalled the following conversation. My OB/GYN told me that, After leaving the hospital on the day of the D&C I was thinking about your request to have the hospital "hold" the "products of conception" and I realized just how genius it was so I went back to the office and had one of the office girls call the insurance company to see if they'd cover Genetic testing. They said they would so we went ahead and had it done. The test results should be back in about 3 or 4 weeks. At that point in time I asked her if we would be able to determine the sex of the baby and she said yes. I was so excited to hear this news that the rest of it all kind of ran together. Anyway, in retrospect I have to admit that I am mega offended that she betrayed our instructions even though it is going to allow us to determine the sex. Guess its just another reason to change doctors huh?
Today was an okay day. I went and visited with the neighbors that live on both sides of me which seems to help in the distraction department but tonight I am feeling quite anxious. If you think of it, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers over the next 4 or 5 days. My reason for feeling anxious and for asking for your thoughts and prayers is due to the fact that tomorrow is one month to the day from when we found out that we had lost the baby and Friday is one month to the day from when I had my sweet little lifeless Angel stripped from my womb (when I had my D&C done). Sorry if that sounds harsh to you guys. That is just what I feel happened. Also, I am going to have to make a decision on what type of Urn I want to put the ashes of my baby Angela Christine into so that my husband can finally bring her home. Even though she was cremated back on February 17th I havent been able to come to terms with him bringing her/the ashes home but he hasnt been able to rest without her here and I know it is time. I just need all the support, love, strength and compassion that I can get right now.
Oh well, I have to go get him up out of our daughters bed. Have a wonderful night everyone and take care!
Replies
I\'m glad you were able to find out it was a girl and she\'s got a wonderful name. That\'s terrible that the doc ordered those tests after you said not to. I wonder if that\'s a violation of their ethics. Maybe want to check into that if you are planning on changing docs. They shouldn\'t be able to do it without your consent. I know that my doc said (along with the funeral home) that some babies require an autopsy but that is very limited circumstances (things like foul play, abuse, etc). But what she did is not right. They shouldn\'t be able to do that without your say so, especially if you said not to. My prayers are with you as you bring your little girl home. Many hugs to you.
Hi, Im am sorry to hear what your doctor did.I am praying for you everyday and especially the upcoming days,anniversaries are hard.I am sorry to hear of your dtr being sick, I hope she is feeling better.It will be hard im sure to bring your babies ashes home,but picking out an urn you may find it helps you a bit. I pray you will find some comfort in it,nothing will be harder than the day they had to take her away from you.I am thinking and praying for you , Kate