Today is Friday, February 23, 2007. I feel bad that I havent entered anything into my journal since Wednesday but then again I have been wiped out beyond belief. All that I have been up to is watching the kiddos which keeps me busy and preoccupied during the day and then crashing after they leave. Last night I had quite a discussion with my husband. I told him that I'm so tired of feeling like this and that I just want everything to go away and for the pain to stop. His patient reply has always been that it's going to take time which I know, but God am I tired of feeling funky. I also told him that why I haven't had a breakdown is totally and completely beyond me and that part of me wishes I could be completely out of it in a place where the sun is always shining and there are happy trees (like the ones that Bob Ross the painter on PBS years ago that was pale and had a red afro painted) and pretty clouds. That way I wouldn't feel any pain. He rationalized with me that while being in that state would alleviate the pain the I am feeling, it would also take away any feelings of happiness that I have (i.e. enjoying the success of our daughter finally eating fruits and vegetables for the first time in over 3 years) and that I need to keep that in mind. Hes right and I know that but it doesnt make matters any easier! Oh well, I guess I should get ready for bed and see if I can get any rest. I think Im going to take 2 Tylenol PM tonight to see if I get a better nights rest. Ill update my journal tomorrow with the results of having done so.