Today is Sunday, February 18, 2007.
As I mentioned in a discussion yesterday, I had quite a sad and hurtful type of day. First of all, I found out from my husband whom is a Funeral Director at a local Funeral Home that our sweet little Angel Angela Christine whom had been at the Funeral Home since this past Tuesday had finally been cremated. A big part of me had expected to feel some sort of relief and/or closure; however I found myself feeling more saddened and confused than anything. Then, to make matters worse; while trying to reach out to my mother for support, I was told in so many words that I've done enough grieving and to get over it. Needless to say I was speechless. All I could say was, "Mom, this isn't going to go away". The loss that my husband, daughter and myself experienced and the experience itself have left me without the ability to argue, defend myself or fight.
So anyway, this morning while talking with my father on the phone; I decided to address my sorrow and dismay with what my mother had said. I asked him if I could tell him something to which he replied, "Yeah". I told him that my mom had really hurt my feelings yesterday when she implied in so many words that I should just "get over" my loss. He told me that he wasn't taking sides but that she too has experienced a miscarriage and that she did get over it. I told him that this isn't going to go away just like I did my mom. He then attempted to justify her statement by stating that unlike my mother I have not had to bury both of my parents. He also stated that in his opinion, even though my Great Grandmother was a fiery old woman he really felt for her because she had to bury both of her children that actually "lived on this earth which in his opinion is much harder. Guess that means that he feels the loss of a child during pregnancy is easier than the loss of a child after the child has been born. Im not quite sure as to how I feel about his theory but I firmly believe that a loss is a loss no matter at what point in time it takes place. Just my honest opinion!
As I mentioned in a discussion yesterday, I had quite a sad and hurtful type of day. First of all, I found out from my husband whom is a Funeral Director at a local Funeral Home that our sweet little Angel Angela Christine whom had been at the Funeral Home since this past Tuesday had finally been cremated. A big part of me had expected to feel some sort of relief and/or closure; however I found myself feeling more saddened and confused than anything. Then, to make matters worse; while trying to reach out to my mother for support, I was told in so many words that I've done enough grieving and to get over it. Needless to say I was speechless. All I could say was, "Mom, this isn't going to go away". The loss that my husband, daughter and myself experienced and the experience itself have left me without the ability to argue, defend myself or fight.
So anyway, this morning while talking with my father on the phone; I decided to address my sorrow and dismay with what my mother had said. I asked him if I could tell him something to which he replied, "Yeah". I told him that my mom had really hurt my feelings yesterday when she implied in so many words that I should just "get over" my loss. He told me that he wasn't taking sides but that she too has experienced a miscarriage and that she did get over it. I told him that this isn't going to go away just like I did my mom. He then attempted to justify her statement by stating that unlike my mother I have not had to bury both of my parents. He also stated that in his opinion, even though my Great Grandmother was a fiery old woman he really felt for her because she had to bury both of her children that actually "lived on this earth which in his opinion is much harder. Guess that means that he feels the loss of a child during pregnancy is easier than the loss of a child after the child has been born. Im not quite sure as to how I feel about his theory but I firmly believe that a loss is a loss no matter at what point in time it takes place. Just my honest opinion!
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