Can't sleep!
There is SO freaking much on my mind I don't even know where to begin trying to sort it all out. Smh... Relevant things, irrelevant things and everything in between is racing through my mind.
Two of my biggest concerns are this baby coming literally any day now and my partner 's (?) safety.
We are No where near ready for a baby, on the long list of to-do I have gotten nothing done and I won't really have much help after the fact so I'm struggling trying to figure it all out and its driving me crazy as I still have a near 2 yeAr old to chase after,
She is too nice or too preoccupied mentally, there is a guy at her job that's dr an inappropriate comment towArds her and in no time she is walking around calling him bae?!? She had a bad habit of using inappropriate pet names for people but #1 to call someone else bae in my presence did make me feel some type of way considering she calls me damn near by my full government name. It would have been embarrassing if I had answered and she was talking to him because that is not a name for a "nobody" but as usual I just have to suck it up and hold my tongue because everything I say turns into a criticism, gets taken the wrong way and is blown out of proportion. If she feels that she can't help it then imma just have to stay away cuz I don't like that, especially after what happened,
He makes a sexual comment towards you, you get offended and tell your superiors then a few weeks later you calling him bae??!!! Yup just give him the green light to take things further because clearly you weren't that bothered by what he said which is how it looks to outsiders. You sitting here with your "people" calling the guy that "tried" you bae? So if one day you working late and he decides to take you calling him bae as a sign that you feeling him then what!!!!! Smh
Like I said imma just stay in my lane cuz my role is not well defined! For now I'm the baby mama I guess cuz nothing being said or done says any differently so imma just keep doin what I've been doing, get out of my feelings and lock them back up in the safe they escaped from. Smh damn hormones, before I wouldn't have even cared do what you want cuz imma do me type of attitude then these emotions and hormones kicked In and I started acting all out of character. Smh at myself for caring about stuff some don't even think twice about.
Ate an interesting combo of food this evening and apparently when everything made it to the tummy party it didn't get along so now my stomach is 20 kinds of upset and the baby in the uterus is clearly not happy with the noisy neighbors in the stomach.
Sweet goddess help me. I'm looking at the clock watching time fly by as sleep eludes me. I have to be up in 4.5 hrs to get ready to drive 2 hrs each way for the 2 year olds post op check up. I want to sleep so badly but the sandman is standing on my porch mocking me . He won't come I. Amd take me to dream land. If I take my Tylenol pm or my benedryl I am guaranteed to sleep through every alarm I have set.
Strawberry ice cream with caramel and real chunks of strawberry swirled in. Topped with whipped cream and peanuts.......does this only exist in my mind?
Pregnancies have been hard for me, not just because of my physical condition but honestly being with a woman is much different than being with man especially when that woman is the "girl". It feels like she is so used to being the one pampered and spoiled that she doesn't know how to give that treatment. She wants me to enjoy being pregnant but why? What's there to enjoy?
The constant attention fe strangers! Being pampered? Being waited on and doted on? Being appreciated for the task Carring out? Getting massages and other wonderful treatments? ......how can I enjoy something I'm not experiencing?
My feel swell up and I get told to sit down. My back hurts and I have to ask for help putting on an icy hot patch. I don't eat or sleep trying to help everyone else put then when I do pass out people are upset because I didn't get around to helping with certain tasks. I never feel like we are a happy couple excited about our expanding family. I feel like the baby's trying to get baby dady act right. I didn't get the whe fun baby registry experiences, I darn near had to kidnap her to get her to do the one at babies r us, it got partially done and we went nowhere else because it didn't for into her plans or schede or whatever.
I honestly feel like I'm alone I'm this.... I'm the relationship, in the pregnancy, in it all and it sucks because I try to put on the brave face and just deal with it but this isn't my re. I understand wanting to be focused on biz to be able to take care of the family, but it takes more than money to keep a family together and I think either that point is being missed or the intention is not to keep the family.
I honestly just don't know be use communication is virtually non existing. I have to schedule appointments to even spend time with her unless I go sit up at her job in which case I have to bring the kids and instead of it being enjoyable most of the time we get ignored so she can focus or treated like a distraction so I'm not sure what to so about that yet.... Smh
IDFK
I could go for a taco right now.....yummy!!
Arghhhhhhhhh. Sleep
Ahhhhhhh should have gotten some tums
Two of my biggest concerns are this baby coming literally any day now and my partner 's (?) safety.
We are No where near ready for a baby, on the long list of to-do I have gotten nothing done and I won't really have much help after the fact so I'm struggling trying to figure it all out and its driving me crazy as I still have a near 2 yeAr old to chase after,
She is too nice or too preoccupied mentally, there is a guy at her job that's dr an inappropriate comment towArds her and in no time she is walking around calling him bae?!? She had a bad habit of using inappropriate pet names for people but #1 to call someone else bae in my presence did make me feel some type of way considering she calls me damn near by my full government name. It would have been embarrassing if I had answered and she was talking to him because that is not a name for a "nobody" but as usual I just have to suck it up and hold my tongue because everything I say turns into a criticism, gets taken the wrong way and is blown out of proportion. If she feels that she can't help it then imma just have to stay away cuz I don't like that, especially after what happened,
He makes a sexual comment towards you, you get offended and tell your superiors then a few weeks later you calling him bae??!!! Yup just give him the green light to take things further because clearly you weren't that bothered by what he said which is how it looks to outsiders. You sitting here with your "people" calling the guy that "tried" you bae? So if one day you working late and he decides to take you calling him bae as a sign that you feeling him then what!!!!! Smh
Like I said imma just stay in my lane cuz my role is not well defined! For now I'm the baby mama I guess cuz nothing being said or done says any differently so imma just keep doin what I've been doing, get out of my feelings and lock them back up in the safe they escaped from. Smh damn hormones, before I wouldn't have even cared do what you want cuz imma do me type of attitude then these emotions and hormones kicked In and I started acting all out of character. Smh at myself for caring about stuff some don't even think twice about.
Ate an interesting combo of food this evening and apparently when everything made it to the tummy party it didn't get along so now my stomach is 20 kinds of upset and the baby in the uterus is clearly not happy with the noisy neighbors in the stomach.
Sweet goddess help me. I'm looking at the clock watching time fly by as sleep eludes me. I have to be up in 4.5 hrs to get ready to drive 2 hrs each way for the 2 year olds post op check up. I want to sleep so badly but the sandman is standing on my porch mocking me . He won't come I. Amd take me to dream land. If I take my Tylenol pm or my benedryl I am guaranteed to sleep through every alarm I have set.
Strawberry ice cream with caramel and real chunks of strawberry swirled in. Topped with whipped cream and peanuts.......does this only exist in my mind?
Pregnancies have been hard for me, not just because of my physical condition but honestly being with a woman is much different than being with man especially when that woman is the "girl". It feels like she is so used to being the one pampered and spoiled that she doesn't know how to give that treatment. She wants me to enjoy being pregnant but why? What's there to enjoy?
The constant attention fe strangers! Being pampered? Being waited on and doted on? Being appreciated for the task Carring out? Getting massages and other wonderful treatments? ......how can I enjoy something I'm not experiencing?
My feel swell up and I get told to sit down. My back hurts and I have to ask for help putting on an icy hot patch. I don't eat or sleep trying to help everyone else put then when I do pass out people are upset because I didn't get around to helping with certain tasks. I never feel like we are a happy couple excited about our expanding family. I feel like the baby's trying to get baby dady act right. I didn't get the whe fun baby registry experiences, I darn near had to kidnap her to get her to do the one at babies r us, it got partially done and we went nowhere else because it didn't for into her plans or schede or whatever.
I honestly feel like I'm alone I'm this.... I'm the relationship, in the pregnancy, in it all and it sucks because I try to put on the brave face and just deal with it but this isn't my re. I understand wanting to be focused on biz to be able to take care of the family, but it takes more than money to keep a family together and I think either that point is being missed or the intention is not to keep the family.
I honestly just don't know be use communication is virtually non existing. I have to schedule appointments to even spend time with her unless I go sit up at her job in which case I have to bring the kids and instead of it being enjoyable most of the time we get ignored so she can focus or treated like a distraction so I'm not sure what to so about that yet.... Smh
IDFK
I could go for a taco right now.....yummy!!
Arghhhhhhhhh. Sleep
Ahhhhhhh should have gotten some tums
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