Yesterday, I came to realize I have no more strength to deal with me health.  I need a break from it all. I don't know for how long, but a break. I know I am not crazy, but I am crazed, too many thoughts go in and out of my head.ever finding a peace in mind. There are 12 of us, I also have DID. I have others that are all in various ages, and stages in their trauma. It is hard to help them when I have so many other things on my mind. When I do not attend to their needs they will cause havic in my day to day coping. Nina, I know that you are disappointed in me right now, but I am doing what I have the strength in doing day by day. I am now taking things day by day. If not the flood of past memories will over take me and it will lead to a disaster. My doctors don't seem to interested in taking control of my treatment course. Right now I don't have the strength to fight with them anymore. In the morning when I riseI wonder what will be my surprise Will it be a great dayOr a very depressing dayI always pray for it to be a great dayThis is what I pray for, that  all my friends will have that special day in everyway.Altheia