Update

So my dad is out of the hospital and I am going to visit on Sunday with my aunt & uncle. I always hate going back to my old home town. It wasn’t all that bad but I don’t have any great memories either. My mom enjoys coming here since all of our family is living here now. My dad can’t really travel yet so we’re heading down. I guess it sparks a bit of anxiety/depression because I remember how bummed I would be when leaving my grandparents and go back home. I have to do this for my family but I’m still not thrilled about going back.  Anyway I started the online thing this week. Sent two email...no replies...oh well! I worked on my profile so it looks better and reads much better then my original. I figure I’ll try it out for a few months...why not! Considering I work from home and there is basically nobody interesting in the office my ability to meet people has been reduced significantly. In my 20’s I still had several single friends who had several single friends so it was easier to connect with others. Now everyone is either married with 10 kids, divorced and bitter or single and 50 pounds overweight! I’ve always worked out and typically get mistaken as a mid-20’s person rather then a late 30’s person. That’s all well and good but hanging around nightclubs didn’t really appeal to me in my 20’s so you can only imagine how I feel about them now!  Basically I would just like to expand my circle of friends. Meet some new people, hear some new stories, find some new places, you know...live like a normal person! I love working from home but also miss the social atmosphere that used to exist in the office. The problem is the office has now shrunk due to layoffs and the remaining people are just depressing! It’s like they are waiting for someone to ax them on the spot! Not exactly the most inspirational backdrop for work or socializing.    Hopefully the spring brings new life not only to the vegetation but also to everyone’s life. People everywhere just seem to be throwing off this negative vibe. It’s pretty bad when I’m fighting anxiety/depression and even I think others are too negative!! HA! Can you say ironic!  I’m not really looking for any particular changes. I just want to find things to do that really gets my heart pumping...in a good way not an “I’m so anxious my hearts going to explode”! More like “This is so cool and exciting my heart can’t stop racing”! Typically when you meet someone new that you really like you get that feeling! Since my ex-girlfriend and I hadn’t really had a great relationship for almost two years it’s been a REALLY long time since anyone made my heart race. I miss that “new relationship” feeling so I guess that’s what I’m looking for right now. It doesn’t have to be serious, just meeting a new female friend would be nice. Considering the number of online daters I’m sure I’m not alone in this boat!!   I’m still a bit unmotivated at work but I’m hoping the better weather will bring better days and inspiration!