OK, so you know what today was all about??? I sat at work and literally went play-by-play in my mind of the last 10 years of my life with him. It was HORRIBLE! I sat there and just wondered what the hell is wrong with me that I put up with that life?? I am so serious. I just sat in disbelief as the memories just poured into my head, one by one. It was so weird. Want to hear of a few things?? OK: 1) I remember him punching me in the mouth because I was about to drive away in our van...he reached his hand in the window and just punched me in the mouth. I thought my front tooth fell out, but it was stil there.. Well, years later it is slowly turning gray because the dentist told me it is dead. I got a root canal in it, but I really need to have it bleached. OK 2) I remembered how I caught him calling my best friend's sister (several times)..they even met at the bar before behind my back...3) He can't do anyting for himself. I literally did EVERYTHING for him..more like a mother than a wife......4) He told me he didn't love me and wanted a divorce as I stood there crying...he didn't even care. 5) All of the terrible horible nasty names he used to call me..I replay them again and again in my head. and 6) This year, he took away my 15-year-old's present (a cell phone) because he decided to tell me on X-mas eve that if I would not move back in with him then we were done...and there is no way on this earth I would ever live with him right now...or EVER. So, after he told my daughter that she got something really good and would love it...I had to tell her on Xmas that she wasn't getting anything....now you tell that to your 15-year-old daughter...and not hate that man with every breath in your body. Meanwhile, he bought my other daughter a MP3 player, a portable DVD player, DVDs, a beanbag chair, makeup kit, etc....and NOTHING for my other one...and he knows I have no money. So pathetic. I feel sick. I hate him so much....more htan I ever have. I will NEVER EVER EVER give that idoit a chance again. He DOES NOT DESERVE ME OR MY CHILDREN.I am going to stay strong this time. I vow to my kids...I would rather die than return to him and that fucked up life.
Replies
Jen- you must stay strong, because if he had chaged would you faced with this. my ex told our nine year daughter tonite that he would see the kids in the middle of the week provided l stay friends with him- where do these man get off.
Jen, we cannot change our spouses, but we can change ourselves, you could have just said the first thing that you listed and that would have been enough to send him packing. He is the one that is fucked up in the head. He is the one that is pathetic and you know what you stayed with him, but you learned a lesson and I am sure that you will never go back to that or to anyone like him. You are right he doesn\'t deserve you or your kids, he does not control you, you control you. Keep your head up high and you let him know that you are the boss, that you are the one that is going to make decisions for you, not him making decisions for you. If he wants to play his fucked up games with the kids so be it, you just let them know that you are stable and you are strong. Let them see that in the face of this mess you have now, you are going to come out a strong person and show them that they don\'t ever need to put up with someone like that. Stop the cycle of abuse with them. I really admire you for staying strong. You need a hug and some \"you\" time. Keep your chin up and hold your head up high, you are an independant, strong, capable and loving woman. You deserve the best in life. Kelly
My heart goes out to you, you put up with it because you were loving and kind and got caught up with a probable sociopath. My ex-husband told me that if I be nice to him he\'ll be nice to our daughter. So to save her the damage done by him I slept with him even after I left him. It was too late for me but I think she turned out ok after all. I wish you peace and happiness for the rest of your life.
Jen i am so proud of you. I really hope this is your last time. From what i\'v seen of steve he\'s a nice guy but i\'v only been with your family for almost a year, i dont really know much. It\'s hard letting go of somebody you love, but your not inlove with the steve now, your in love with the old steve im sure. If he\'s not going to change and clean his act up around you, then don\'t put up with it. Im not sure how many times he\'s said he\'d change for you, and hasn\'t but if there is a next time, make him mean it. I can\'t have my ma\' getting hurt =[. And i\'m not really sure About the calling your bestfriends sister and hanging out with her behind your back, if he ever cheated on you Jen, um no never put up with that. And your right, if any man sat around while you slaved around for him i\'d say fuck that. Your right, you aren\'t his mother and you guys should be a team. I hope everything works out, and for the better
Don\'t ever take any ultimatums from a person like that...or anyone for that matter. I think the first thing you need to do is stop all communication with him. Only then can you begin to heal and move on with your own life. I hope your children can see what type of person he is. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. You\'re strong and I know you can do it!