I'm tired, but too worried to sleep. TV is boring me and my eyes are too heavy to sit at this computer much longer. I need to just sleep . Who knows, maybe when I wake up tomorrow I will have a job offer. I sure in the hell hope so. My youngest daughter has her 5th grade camp from 1/7 through 1/11. She has to have her money ($155) turned in like really soon, and the asshole is supposed to pay for it. OMG if he doesn't pay for it, I really don't have the money. Please God, make him realize that she will be sooooo upset if he doesn't pay for it. You know, right now, I actually hate myself more than I hate him because I actually let him talk me into quitting my job and quitting school for the stupid frickin family business and now I don't have shit. I have always had my own money and have always taken care of myself. How foolish I was to think he was sincere when he said that he wanted me to quit my job and school and that he would "take care of me"...not to ever worry. HAA what a joke. I guess the good thing is that I have learned a lesson about myself. I HATE having to rely on ANYONE else to take care of me... I only want to rely on myself. I want to sceam so loud right now...Can't do that so .. AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH there... a little better...
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Don\'t they always sound so sincere, like when my husband wanted so desperately to buy a new car and I put it in my name and everything, come to find out he was cheating on me and here I am either stuck paying for a 500 dollar a month suv or having it repo\'d or letting him drive it and pray he makes the payments, which as of late he hasn\'t been paying on time. OH DO I HATE MYSELF FOR GETTING SUCKED INTO HIS DYSFUNCTIONAL WORLD, I want to take everything away from him and say here now you deal with the bills, etc instead of living off your gf and your mommy. Oh Jen I am sorry I am ranting, but I was reading your post and felt the same way.
Its ok....I totally understand...Things have to work out...they just have to...But the first step is keeping away from him. I just know that I will miss him terribly.
Hang in there sweetie. Things will work out. Its God\'s plan. We\'re just along for the ride.