Well, here I go again...hardly no sleep last night.  Chest pain like crazy...Still no tears though.  I think my body knows that if I let one tear fall they will never stop.  I am going to try like hell to be a happy woderful mother today, because its Josie's 15th birthday.  She is going through a lot herself.  I swear, I didn't think it would actually happen, but she has followed in my footsteps - got herself a rotten boyfriend who I have forbid her to see...but she kept sneaking around my back with him...now this little loser is locked up and she is miserable - comes home from school and just sleeps - won't hang out with friends, etc.  What can I say - she is her mother's daughter..I have no one to blame except myself, and of course, she will blame me for her miserable life too.. Well, see that I am off to a wonderful start today.GOD HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH THIS DAY WITHOUT BEING MEAN TO ANYONE. Pray for me today guys - I need it.