OK - I know I have already written today at like 5 am, but it's now 10 am and I just had a breakdown...I had to go drop my car off to the mechanic who my husband and I both use (my husband has a tree company and is constantly taking equipment/vehicles to this man and he has become somewhat of a friend to us). Mike (the mechanic) knows kinda what is going on between Steve and me. I was told the other day by Steve's sister that Steve was upset because he couldnt believe that I "said something to Mike about us"...I have no clue what he was talking about because I have never indulged in any conversation with Mike about me and Steve. NEVER.
Today when I went to drop off my car to Mike, I just had to ask..I asked him to please keep it in confidence because I didn't want to start anything between Steve and his sisters .. but I told him what was said...and he and I both were at a loss..We both said we had no clue what he was talking about because I have NEVER said anything negative to him about Steve..Anyway, I left my car there and my sister gave me a ride home...She is my older sister (I am the baby of 4 kids). She always has taken care of me, but now she is basically at the end of her rope. She told me that I need to just STOP talking to Steve because it is just making me go in circles..I have to start my whole process of grief, getting over him again and again.. I know she is right. I cried my eyes out the whole 15 minute ride back here...Cried and cried and cried... I JUST CANT DO THIS TO MYSELF ANYMORE....What am I going to do ?????
It's like everyone in my life is sick of me. They can see what I need to do and don't understand why its so hard for me. I can't either..So I don't have anything to say. It's like I have no one who understands me..well until I found this website.
I sure hope my weekend is better than the start of my Friday. I plan on just taking enough Benadryl to sleep for the weekend. I swear.. When will this crap get better?? How frickin LONG???
Today when I went to drop off my car to Mike, I just had to ask..I asked him to please keep it in confidence because I didn't want to start anything between Steve and his sisters .. but I told him what was said...and he and I both were at a loss..We both said we had no clue what he was talking about because I have NEVER said anything negative to him about Steve..Anyway, I left my car there and my sister gave me a ride home...She is my older sister (I am the baby of 4 kids). She always has taken care of me, but now she is basically at the end of her rope. She told me that I need to just STOP talking to Steve because it is just making me go in circles..I have to start my whole process of grief, getting over him again and again.. I know she is right. I cried my eyes out the whole 15 minute ride back here...Cried and cried and cried... I JUST CANT DO THIS TO MYSELF ANYMORE....What am I going to do ?????
It's like everyone in my life is sick of me. They can see what I need to do and don't understand why its so hard for me. I can't either..So I don't have anything to say. It's like I have no one who understands me..well until I found this website.
I sure hope my weekend is better than the start of my Friday. I plan on just taking enough Benadryl to sleep for the weekend. I swear.. When will this crap get better?? How frickin LONG???
Replies
Shhh.... Relax. First of all, the more communication you have with your X the longer you are prolonging the healing. If you want it to end, you must end the communication and give yourself time to absorb what is going on with a clear head. I too had communicated with my X hoping to rekindle something to savor my marriage. But all it did was frustrate me and her. You can\'t put your life in a pause, you have to move forward and part of that is to live that single life. In my prayers!!
Thank you for that.. I know, I know...I hereby PROMISE not to call him at all or email, or text or ANYTHING.. it\'s almost like an addiction. Like I can\'t stop myself.