Home
So been home two weeks now and still don't know that I want to put it into words.
This was my husband's dream vacation. He wanted so much to go. I did, but it was so much work, planning and packing and trying to study up on all we needed to know. He was excited and as usual I was overwhelmed. He didn't read the brochure or the paperwork. He didn't look up customs or figure out tips. He didn't order the under clothing pouch or the outlet converters. He just fussed about not having enough socks and got on the plane.
We went and it was fun, but there was a lot that wasn't fun too and I complained. I could see him hating it every time I complained, but I couldn't stop. I was exhausted, stressed, and being around so many people when I am an introvert was so hard. This trip was supposed to rekindle the romance, reconnect us or something. Hard to express that it failed completely.
And all my fault. He was there to enjoy and he did, but I put a crimp in everything we did. I just can't let go and have fun. Plus I hated spending so much time with him. I needed some me time and we were together 24/7 for 17 days. He was always in my space. He isn't a small guy so in the bus he took up part of my seat too, on the plane and in the smallish beds Europe has.
One day we walked into a hotel that had twin beds. He was so upset. I was so thrilled. ANd then he was upset that I was thrilled. He takes up more than half the bed. I am always hanging off the edge and he snores and thrashes about. He told me I hog the bed too after two nights in a double bed. Everyone time I woke up I had at least one limb hanging off the bed and when I looked at him he was definatly over the middle line. I really don't like him touching me any more so it was pretty bad being snuggled up against him all the time.
By the end of the trip I could see the disgust in his eyes over my behavior. We got home and the other day he said it felt like we never went. Life has gone back to normal, but he is more snappish and impatient with me now.
My only consolation is I am furloughed at work right now so I getting some time alone to try to level myself out and be pleasant when I am around people again. Youngest son still at the library so occasionally hb and I have moments alone that don't go so well. I feel more like I took my marriage more down the destruction path than towards any reconcilliation and I don't know what to do about it.
This was my husband's dream vacation. He wanted so much to go. I did, but it was so much work, planning and packing and trying to study up on all we needed to know. He was excited and as usual I was overwhelmed. He didn't read the brochure or the paperwork. He didn't look up customs or figure out tips. He didn't order the under clothing pouch or the outlet converters. He just fussed about not having enough socks and got on the plane.
We went and it was fun, but there was a lot that wasn't fun too and I complained. I could see him hating it every time I complained, but I couldn't stop. I was exhausted, stressed, and being around so many people when I am an introvert was so hard. This trip was supposed to rekindle the romance, reconnect us or something. Hard to express that it failed completely.
And all my fault. He was there to enjoy and he did, but I put a crimp in everything we did. I just can't let go and have fun. Plus I hated spending so much time with him. I needed some me time and we were together 24/7 for 17 days. He was always in my space. He isn't a small guy so in the bus he took up part of my seat too, on the plane and in the smallish beds Europe has.
One day we walked into a hotel that had twin beds. He was so upset. I was so thrilled. ANd then he was upset that I was thrilled. He takes up more than half the bed. I am always hanging off the edge and he snores and thrashes about. He told me I hog the bed too after two nights in a double bed. Everyone time I woke up I had at least one limb hanging off the bed and when I looked at him he was definatly over the middle line. I really don't like him touching me any more so it was pretty bad being snuggled up against him all the time.
By the end of the trip I could see the disgust in his eyes over my behavior. We got home and the other day he said it felt like we never went. Life has gone back to normal, but he is more snappish and impatient with me now.
My only consolation is I am furloughed at work right now so I getting some time alone to try to level myself out and be pleasant when I am around people again. Youngest son still at the library so occasionally hb and I have moments alone that don't go so well. I feel more like I took my marriage more down the destruction path than towards any reconcilliation and I don't know what to do about it.
Replies
I don't know what to say ..I do understand that you would be so uncomfortable ..around so maney people ....I am the same way ...and for 17 days I wouldent be a happy camper eather ......and not having any me time in all that time .....must of realy been dificult ....it sounds like he doesent understand ..your situation ...your depreshion ........and isent trying to .........and that is not being a good husband .....if you can't stand him touching you there is a reason for that ......you need to look into ..think about it ......I am sorry the trip was not a good one for you ......you have lots of thinking to do about this marriage .......about what you need out of this marage and if you can get it out of this marage .........I am sorry to say but he sounds like he is eather a bully or a baby ..about things he is punishing you .....that is not a growen up way to address a problem ...and again he is not trying to understand ....why you had problems on the trip ..it sounds like it is all about him ..........I am sorry to have to say ...........I would not stand for my husband ......treating me in this way ......just my opinion .....................I don't think you schould take on your shoulders ....all the weaight of taking dowen your .marage ..it takes two to do that ....I think he did his fair shair of taking it dowen ...................if this trip was suposto help the marage ..than he did not do his part .........he did not take into conciderstion your situation your feelings .....did not try to understand you .....just got angry if things dident go his way ......what he belived wast the right way .......with no thought as to what you were going through .....and what you might need ...........................if he won't ....come half way .....in trying to understand what you are going through ....and start treating you with...the respect you deserve .......and try ...to help you ....instead of punishing you .......witch ..is rediculess .......and you do not deserve that treatment ...........than you have some thinking to do ...............take very good care of your self .......do somthing just for you ....God bless ....