Anxiety
Really need something today to calm myself down. In the middle of a full blown panic attack and have to teach tonight.
So upset. I was actually off Thursday and going to get to see my oldest son. He just msged me to cancel. He is coming up tonight. The only night I work this week. Feel like they are avoiding me. Know it can't be true, but just feeling paranoid and hated again. Last time I was off they showed up 2 hours late and I only saw them for about an hour.
Asked a supervisor if I was working a special project in December. I have worked it for 7 years. Heard her ask someone else if they wanted to work it, but she hadn't said anything to me so I asked. She said she is waiting to hear how many people she can hire this year. I know she cut my hours last year and scheduled people more hours than me. Never happened before last year and once again I don't know why. This year may not get to work it and will not know why.
I also sent a msg to oldest son we are busy on 14th of Nov. Found out today his wife is planning to hold the event I was sending the msg about on the 14th. Well almost impossible for us to go that day. Wonder if she will cancel or hold it without us.
So tired of feeling everyone dislikes me and never knowing why. I wish someone would at least tell me once in a while why they stop being my friend or stop coming around to see me. Maybe I would have the opportunity to change.
Already had one crying jag. Heart still pounding. Want to cry some more. Scream, hair pull, anything to get this awful feeling out, but just don't know how.
So upset. I was actually off Thursday and going to get to see my oldest son. He just msged me to cancel. He is coming up tonight. The only night I work this week. Feel like they are avoiding me. Know it can't be true, but just feeling paranoid and hated again. Last time I was off they showed up 2 hours late and I only saw them for about an hour.
Asked a supervisor if I was working a special project in December. I have worked it for 7 years. Heard her ask someone else if they wanted to work it, but she hadn't said anything to me so I asked. She said she is waiting to hear how many people she can hire this year. I know she cut my hours last year and scheduled people more hours than me. Never happened before last year and once again I don't know why. This year may not get to work it and will not know why.
I also sent a msg to oldest son we are busy on 14th of Nov. Found out today his wife is planning to hold the event I was sending the msg about on the 14th. Well almost impossible for us to go that day. Wonder if she will cancel or hold it without us.
So tired of feeling everyone dislikes me and never knowing why. I wish someone would at least tell me once in a while why they stop being my friend or stop coming around to see me. Maybe I would have the opportunity to change.
Already had one crying jag. Heart still pounding. Want to cry some more. Scream, hair pull, anything to get this awful feeling out, but just don't know how.
Replies
these feelings might have more to do with your depreshion ....depreshion will make you feel that way ...and if you look sad or unhappy ...people tend to staway more just because they just don\'t know what to do to help ...it can\'t hurt to ask ....so long as you are calm ...and ..ask at work to so you can plan ..ahead ....take care .of your self ..God bless ..I keep you in my prayers ...