Broken
Not sure how I will get through the day today.
Worked 66 hours last week and immediately devoted yesterday to my 18 year old son. Feel like I neglected him all week.
Took him to pick up his new glasses and chocolates for his girl. Helped him shop for flowers for her too. Told him I was sorry he didn't get to see her this weekend. I would have brought her up for the super bowl but didn't know it was going on until Friday and was so busy and had a terrible headache Friday and Saturday.
I started setting up for him to see her on Valentine's Day and already told her I would drive him down to prom when she has it.
Also said I might set something up for next Saturday since the event we were going to got cancelled.
During the super bowl he is sitting on the floor typing to her and I look down. DIdn't read on purpose, but see them both complaining about the super bowl and how boring it is. Didn't think much of it, but see her type why are you watching it. He says family and the conversation from there went on about how much they both hate family time and how much they are looking forward to living on their own and how they will never show up for family anything. Well maybe Christmas. How I am going to hate her cause she they will never come around.... and on and on.
I tried to stop looking, but I was upset so I kept reading. I finally got up and went to sit by one of my other children, but they were playing video games and ignored me.
I spent the 4th quarter fighting tears the whole time and gladly went to bed to cry when the game was finally over.
I feel horrible today, so paniced and devastated and my headache is back. I have one of the busiest days of the year at work to get through and I don't know how I will do it.
Why am I helping this child and his girl with anything. Are they both really so selfish and horrible that they don't appreciate anything I do for them. I want to just refuse to drive my son anywhere and let him get over his phobia of driving or if he can't he just doesn't get to see her at all. But I know I won't. Because I am not them. I am not vendictive and ugly to people I love. But my heart breaks over and over and over again.
Worked 66 hours last week and immediately devoted yesterday to my 18 year old son. Feel like I neglected him all week.
Took him to pick up his new glasses and chocolates for his girl. Helped him shop for flowers for her too. Told him I was sorry he didn't get to see her this weekend. I would have brought her up for the super bowl but didn't know it was going on until Friday and was so busy and had a terrible headache Friday and Saturday.
I started setting up for him to see her on Valentine's Day and already told her I would drive him down to prom when she has it.
Also said I might set something up for next Saturday since the event we were going to got cancelled.
During the super bowl he is sitting on the floor typing to her and I look down. DIdn't read on purpose, but see them both complaining about the super bowl and how boring it is. Didn't think much of it, but see her type why are you watching it. He says family and the conversation from there went on about how much they both hate family time and how much they are looking forward to living on their own and how they will never show up for family anything. Well maybe Christmas. How I am going to hate her cause she they will never come around.... and on and on.
I tried to stop looking, but I was upset so I kept reading. I finally got up and went to sit by one of my other children, but they were playing video games and ignored me.
I spent the 4th quarter fighting tears the whole time and gladly went to bed to cry when the game was finally over.
I feel horrible today, so paniced and devastated and my headache is back. I have one of the busiest days of the year at work to get through and I don't know how I will do it.
Why am I helping this child and his girl with anything. Are they both really so selfish and horrible that they don't appreciate anything I do for them. I want to just refuse to drive my son anywhere and let him get over his phobia of driving or if he can't he just doesn't get to see her at all. But I know I won't. Because I am not them. I am not vendictive and ugly to people I love. But my heart breaks over and over and over again.
Replies
You need to cut the apron strings. I have a 20 year old that still lives at home but does his own thing. He knows if he wants to continue to live at home he has to help out but otherwise he does what he wants in the confines of his room. You do not owe your children anything if they are out of high school. Unless they pay room and board, you owe them nothing and are doing them a disservice in leaving them live with you. Imagine the life you can have without them. All those things you never could do because you had to take care of them. It is your time now. They are grown and need to live their own life. They will never make it on their own if you keep taking care of them
Honey, that was an awful thing for this girl to text to your son. I wish you would confront your son about what you accidently read and tell him just how you are feeling. You really need to get this out in the open. I too don\'t like her! I hate to see that red face. You don\'t deserve it! Hugs
Thank you for the support.
Kids are just stupid! I remember getting married in my early 20\'s thinking I knew it all...God I was SO stupid back then! Now I know that I basically know nothing :) That\'s true maturity!!! Ha! Don\'t take it to heart P! Kids are just kids :)