Bad Day
Upset today and trying hard not to be. Went to a group we belong to that has been struggling with attendance and other than the man who hosts it my family was the only ones there. Have been feeling rejected there for a while and this made it worse. Plus my oldest and his fiancé weren't there until later as they were meeting with the wedding planner picking linens and centerpieces etc.
At the end of the day my son told me they are picking invitations on Tuesday night and have invited her parents to help them pick. I tried so hard not to freak out. My son knew something was wrong think he thought I was upset they were doing something with her parents. I'm not. This is the first time in 3 months they have agreed to speak to him. I am glad things are getting better, but I have not been invited to see the place they are getting married or pick out anything with them. Now suddenly her parents who have been horrid, threatened to shoot my son, broke them up once, talked her out of marrying my son months ago....are involved in the planning of the wedding and get a say in the invitations. I can't help being so hurt.
My son has been under so much pressure I just thought I couldn't say anything. I want him to repair this relationship to the point he is on speaking terms with his inlaws, but I want to be included in the wedding plans too. So far they had planned everything alone and I was ok with it, but not if it includes them and not me. Do not want to make waves....Am I being a patsy? Or a good mom?
Then we get home and my youngest son starts playing Minecraft. I bought it last month so I could play with him and he has stopped playing. He shows me the screen all excited about something on it and I ask if it is an open server. He tells me no it is private. So I can't play too. Hurt again.
It is getting closer and closer to Christmas which makes it harder and harder for me as I really don't like the holiday anymore and have to pretend I do for everyone else.
At the end of the day my son told me they are picking invitations on Tuesday night and have invited her parents to help them pick. I tried so hard not to freak out. My son knew something was wrong think he thought I was upset they were doing something with her parents. I'm not. This is the first time in 3 months they have agreed to speak to him. I am glad things are getting better, but I have not been invited to see the place they are getting married or pick out anything with them. Now suddenly her parents who have been horrid, threatened to shoot my son, broke them up once, talked her out of marrying my son months ago....are involved in the planning of the wedding and get a say in the invitations. I can't help being so hurt.
My son has been under so much pressure I just thought I couldn't say anything. I want him to repair this relationship to the point he is on speaking terms with his inlaws, but I want to be included in the wedding plans too. So far they had planned everything alone and I was ok with it, but not if it includes them and not me. Do not want to make waves....Am I being a patsy? Or a good mom?
Then we get home and my youngest son starts playing Minecraft. I bought it last month so I could play with him and he has stopped playing. He shows me the screen all excited about something on it and I ask if it is an open server. He tells me no it is private. So I can't play too. Hurt again.
It is getting closer and closer to Christmas which makes it harder and harder for me as I really don't like the holiday anymore and have to pretend I do for everyone else.
Replies
Kids today!!!!!
the holidays are very hard on us ......you are not alone in that ...sorry I have not been her to much I was having a hard time comming in here dealing with angisity ...getting over it now .......you have every right to be upset ..ware your sons wedding is concerened ...I think you schould talk to him and just tell him that you would like to be included in some way in the planing of his wedding ...go see ware it is going to hapen .....because I think if you don\'t at least do that this is just going to get worse for you .....and ....will carry over well into the future .....you do have to be sencitive when talking to him ...but he needs to know how you feel .......so don\'t be angry when you talk to him ...be calm ...be just the loving mother that you are ........as for your son and the mind craft ....don\'t let that upset you ....at that age you are lucky if you are in the same room as they are when they are playing there games ....and if you can\'t keep up ...they get frustrated ..just a normal teanager ...I have a heck of a time getting to play a game with my grandchildren ....I know it hurts but that is because ....in your condition everything feels so personal ..you feel things so deaply ....give him a hug get a hug from him .it will help you feel better ....take care ...God bless
I can totally relate to having to be \"cheery\" and happy when you really don\'t feel that way.
I don\'t know if this is on target but my impression about the two events where you felt (uncared for) was that the people involved were self-absorbed and if you had expressed your needs the way they are which are healthy and right matter of factly, they would likely realize (oops -- they forgot to think about you.
I hope that isn\'t sounding insensitive -- it was just a sense I had.