Feeling Low
Don't know if it is me or just my ADHD son. He was in a mood last night and know he says things when he is like that. He is impatient and insulting. It is normal and it usually does not get to me, but he was saying his fiancé who I love dearly does not like things I am doing either and that I don't treat her right. That scares me. My youngest son seems to think I hate everything and am too negative and he says I ruin everything. Now hearing it from another child too makes me so upset. I was trying so hard to be overly positive last night. We went to meet my oldest son's girlfriend's parents. They are against the relationship and wanted so much to do a good job for him making them think we are a great family and they shouldn't worry about their daughter dating this wonderful guy from this great family. Then got in the car thinking it had gone well and heard something different from Zachary's point of view.
Was so upset didn't sleep hardly at all. Maybe 2 hours. I have been sick for a week and was getting somewhat better, but still so exhausted from it. Now no sleep. I feel sick to my stomach and my heart is racing. Know I am panic attacking again and no idea how to stop it. Zachary's girl is coming over today and I have no clue how to act or what to say or rather not say. So nervous and upset. Don't know how I will cope today without tears if anyone even looks at me funny.
I am probably being overly sensitive, but don't know how to stop. I have all my life wanted people to like me and have so much trouble making it happen. I just have one of those personalities that rub everyone the wrong way. Know there are other people out there like me who just can't maintain friendships. Half the time I have friends for a while and then they suddenly don't like me anymore and I never even know why. I guess I just don't understand what is acceptable and normal and what isn't. I hope I at least did ok with the parents I was supposed to look good to last night, but I just don't know.
I am 45 years old, half my life is over and no one likes me and I can't figure out why in all that time. How sad and sorry is that?
Was so upset didn't sleep hardly at all. Maybe 2 hours. I have been sick for a week and was getting somewhat better, but still so exhausted from it. Now no sleep. I feel sick to my stomach and my heart is racing. Know I am panic attacking again and no idea how to stop it. Zachary's girl is coming over today and I have no clue how to act or what to say or rather not say. So nervous and upset. Don't know how I will cope today without tears if anyone even looks at me funny.
I am probably being overly sensitive, but don't know how to stop. I have all my life wanted people to like me and have so much trouble making it happen. I just have one of those personalities that rub everyone the wrong way. Know there are other people out there like me who just can't maintain friendships. Half the time I have friends for a while and then they suddenly don't like me anymore and I never even know why. I guess I just don't understand what is acceptable and normal and what isn't. I hope I at least did ok with the parents I was supposed to look good to last night, but I just don't know.
I am 45 years old, half my life is over and no one likes me and I can't figure out why in all that time. How sad and sorry is that?
Replies
i think you are a really good mom for going.My son\'s girlfriends mom wants me to go to their house and meet them.they\'ve been dating for 2 years and I still have not met the girlfriends parents.I said no,i wont go.and my son was really crushed by this.thats how bad my social anxiety is.I know they really dont like me.I have to get up the nerve to go and also apoligize.your doing a good job.I think your kids know you are vulnerable and take out their frustrations on you.My sons will do the same thing.Its about self-esteem.If we feel good about ourselves,then we dont worry so much about what others think of us.You seem likable to me..:)