Holidays
After spending the last 4-5 days in an absolute funk, I managed to finish Christmas shopping, put the icing on the sugar cookies and finish some work I had lingering. I am now feeling like I might actually make it through the holidays. I think that starting on cabergoline caused a lot of headaches, dizziness, dry mouth and constipation. Getting off of it was an emotional terror. Depression, suicidal thoughts, bad fatigue and just an overall state of hopelessness. The body aches and joint stiffness have been incredible.I knew it was just the meds but it was still terrible all the same. In 2 days, I go to get IGF-1, ACTH and prolactin levels. I'm just waiting to get on with this so I can get on with my life. I never thought I would be in this situation, ever, and then to find out that I also have acromegaly -- wow! I guess overall my biggest job right now is to keep it together for my mom. I also never thought she would be diagnosed with Stage 4 carcinoid. It was me who after all the internet research figured out that we most likely have a MEN syndrome. I really hope and pray that my kids and grand kids can dodge this bullet.
I haven't so much as taken a day off of work in this sh*t storm. Staying busy has kept my mind off of the fact that I can't do anything about any of it. I work, exercise, play with the grand kids and cry when no one's looking. I am afraid to hope that a neurosurgeon can do anything to help me but if that is my only option at this point then that's what I will do.
I am trying to resolve myself to the reality of having a chronic illness but am not quite ready to give up the fight. I named her Penelope and one day soon some guy with a drill and an endoscope will expose her to the light of day and spare me in the process.
Then I can be on my busy way until the next pothole of life comes my way. I walk on this bumpy road everyday with the Lord at my side. Will celebrate his birthday this week and that is enough. Grace through faith and nothing else.
I haven't so much as taken a day off of work in this sh*t storm. Staying busy has kept my mind off of the fact that I can't do anything about any of it. I work, exercise, play with the grand kids and cry when no one's looking. I am afraid to hope that a neurosurgeon can do anything to help me but if that is my only option at this point then that's what I will do.
I am trying to resolve myself to the reality of having a chronic illness but am not quite ready to give up the fight. I named her Penelope and one day soon some guy with a drill and an endoscope will expose her to the light of day and spare me in the process.
Then I can be on my busy way until the next pothole of life comes my way. I walk on this bumpy road everyday with the Lord at my side. Will celebrate his birthday this week and that is enough. Grace through faith and nothing else.
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