Insurance has dumped my meds for BP into a category that includes alcohol treatment programs which means that even through I"ve passed the $2000 deductible, I'm not going to get reimbursed for my meds.  I will continue to pay at least $500 a month - so I'm angry and hurt.  I'm too embarrassed to complain.  "Hey do you know how expensive it is to be crazy????" sigh, not to mention I used pain medication - another star in my crown that gives me SO much credibility and makes me so likeable.  Yesterday in church I had a blast of pain and I cried.  I took a pill real fast.  But my mother's back stiffened and I was too embarrassed to let Kelly catch my eye.  People consider me a downer.  And I am.  Always in a "bad mood" as Rene calls it.  She never says "Oh you are feeling bad today"  she says, 'oh you are in a bad mood today" Fuck. Yesterday was horrific.  I wait too long to take vicodin - way too long before I take imitrex.  I ended up taking too much vicodin at 5 because I..whatever. 7/24 two vicodin7/25 two vicodin two valium (racing thoughts to extreme)7/26 imitrex 1/2 valium, four vicodin