I am officially non-remission.  Crazy as a pile of spaghetti.  I forgot my meds this morning which DID NOT help.  I took two vicodin and an imitrex.  Sunday School gave me a migraine.  this guy...who is an assoc pastor reads stuff with the inflection of a really bad small time actor who thinks he is Sean Connery playing Shakespeare.  I die a little bit on the inside when he does it.  I meditate about love and acceptance.  I hold him "in the light"  bastard still gives me a migraine.  I had to leave...pretended I had to go to the bathroom.  I was miserable at lunch - my mother responds to my losing $20,000 in business between 4:30 and 4:35 on Friday afternoon like this, 'Well can't you find something else in it's place?"   Sure Mom, I'll just pick up the phone and call another global orgainization with multi million dollar budgets and say, hey I'm freed up on May 6..good news, I'm all yours. Actually I did call Microsoft back - I was cool on the phone with them before.  I swore I'd never work with them again and frankly...I'll just get over myself and do what has to be done. If the editor doesn't call back with good news.  I'll sit down and write a whole fucking book proposal and let my agent rip the hell out of it, over and over and over again...until I cry and he sends it out and I -- one more time -- spend a year pretending what I write might make a difference.  I spotted a bit on Feb 2 and today I got what looks like a period.  First in a couple of months  2/21 imitrex, two vicodin, valium (and still wired)