I'm so miserable.   I'm in NYC with an apt all to myself on the upper west side and I can hardly leave it.   I was in pain all yesterday.  Refused to take a vicodin after 12 so I could rest.  I laid in bed for five hours not really sleeping but hurting.  I slept last night but woke up in pain.  I tried to wait for coffee to work but took a vicodin and zofran with my coffee.  I walked a bit to try excercise.  Took and imitrex, some senokot, and another half a vicodin.  I'm STILL miserable.  My neck and back are the worst.  I need help.  I hate the vicodin...hell, I hate all pills.  But if I'm going to write another book....  sigh.  I can't travel I guess.  when I was home I was almost 100%.  Fuck. Okay Feb 5 five vicodin.  I was in so much pain after the flight (8-4, one connection) I was digging my back into the barracades at the baggage claim.  Feb 6 four vicodin, one imitrex, one zofranwoke up at four with a migraine - took imitrex, vicodin, zofran.  I was hyped up and shaking - my hands and whole body felt as if I had parkinsons.  Like I was mainlining caffiene or something.  Did 20 minutes in the gym.  it helped,Feb 7 imitrex, three and half vicodinwoke up in pain; neck, head, back, shoulder blades, hands, knees, hips.  Tired a bath and stretches,  took a vicodin imitrex, nauseous.  Went for a walk to Grand Central.  Music, talked with a friend, eight to eleven, came to the apt.  laid down.  Couldn't make it out the door to see a show.  Found chicken soup in the frig, ate that.  Ate some dried fruit.  watched a movie.  Bed.  I'm so damn tired of being in pain.  I was in pain rolling around - no comfortable position.   trazodone finally put me to sleep.   Feb 8 imitrex zofran one and half vicodin so far