I've been unhappy all day.  I slept 12 hours last night.  I cried with anguish after getting an email from Keith Matson and hearing he is married with two lovely children. I fell down in the park - it hurts. Last night Dad took me out to dinner but I bowed out of coffee and "rook"  Feeling sexually aroused with X weirded me right out.  I felt like throwing up.  Don't need that sort of pain. Not the sex - that always starts out well.  It's what happens after that it so awful. .....if anyone dares to read this and tries to say "give it a chance" I will block them from sending me messages. 12/9 vicodin?  I got no idea.  I think none but I had a valium for the stress.