I only needed one vicodin today (church) and my body feels good.  I went to stay with my dad and Mary.  I felt loved and accepted.  I need a solid strategy for dealing with my mother.  I promise I will call and make an appt with a therapist tomorrow. Hopefully Tom Moore is still in practice. I need help.  the difference between being out there and being here is enormous so it can't be brain chemistry.  that is environmental or thought based.  I feel sharply unloved when I am with my mother.  I feel sharply unloveable when I am alone.  I am physically better so it's time to get mentally better.