I shouldn't have stayed for Wed night discussion at church.  I got so riled up I was awake all night - I took one valium at 11 and another at 3.  When I got home...I painted...I meditated...I prayed.  EVERYTHING to escape my thoughts.  Nothing worked.  It's like I can hear lies and no one else can hear them.  Being perceptive is no blessing.  It's like seeing the dead but not being able to help them.  I sound psychotic I know.  I'm not.  I've checked.  I  was on the phone with my minister this morning.  He called me about something else and I said.  I can't help her board with succession planning because you need an executive director who believes she can be replaced to do a good job.  he said, 'Wow, you are perceptive."  She has everyone fooled and she's a big control freak.  I'm glad she exists - she gets tons of homeless back on their feet and God knows she's made a difference in hundreds of lives.  It's just that ....the messiah complex is strong with her.  Enough said.  I really need to let this go. I took two vicodin yesterday.  I was in bed at 1:30 in the afternoon and thought - I am NOT staying in bed - so I took one and sure enough thirty minutes later I was out in the garden, planted 60 bulbs, snapdragons, and pansies.   I think the amoxicillin is working.  My ears feel better.  That's good.  I was afraid I had a staph infection.