I took three vicodin yesterday. THe manic bump adds to the anxiety and when the pain gets really bad and it was really bad - bad enough to wake me up - I just can't manage both. So ... At times I wonder if the vicodin prompts some mania. I know I feel so much better that it resembles euphoria. But that's the same as waking up one morning after the flu and all the sudden you are better - it feels SO good. I'm dedicated to health - which means no addictions. I gave up alcohol. The vicodin is risky, but it makes me nauseous and I hate the constipation. I think I'm okay on that. I woke up in pain again this morning but my first treatment is two cups of coffee. Thank GOD for coffee - it usually kills enough of the pain that I can move on to my next strategy which is distraction. Three men in my bathroom - I spent time covering everything to protect it from the dust. Babysitting my nervous nellie dog - all of these things are distracting. It works. And this journal. The journal works too. This way I can track symptoms, use of meds, and not feel like I"m only focusing on the bad. I got a hug yesterday and it felt really good. I hug from a complete stranger - it's warm and sweet feeling. Healing.I hear really strange noises from the bathroom. I hope they don't find rotten wood. I think $8000 is plenty. I have plastic up and the doors closed and it is still getting dustry in here. I better cover my computer. Guess I'll be occupying myself in other ways.Last night I made a lamp shade. I probably watch too much HGTV. The lamp shade is cute - but imperfect. I'm going to see if I can live with the imperfection. I can always do it over. I forgot one step - one little step - and it threw the whole thing off on one side. I'm turning that side to the wall. Let's see how long it lasts.
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