My son

I think I have held it for so long I miss my son,  I try to act like he is a better place but I'm selfish I want to see him play baseball I want to see him go to kindergarden.  I want to see him grow up and be a man.  I sit here and its been 2 1/2 years and I upset right now I don't what brought it up I want my son back.  It makes me made when parnets have kids and have nothing to do with why can't this happen to there son or dauther.  I love my son I miss him so much if there is a god and I have doubts why would he take him from me.