Just another day

"you should be happy" "just feel better already" "your faking it"..... I hear this everyday. I want to be happy, I am trying so hard to get better but it takes time. When someone tells me I'm faking it all I have to say is yea you're right i am faking it.... i actually feel a lot worse than i am letting off. People tell me I look like I am fine but that is because after almost 10 years of dealing with these feelings I have learned to put on a mask and hide how I feel inside. If people knew just how bad I felt everyday they wouldn't know what to do. I guess I just need a friend that understands how it feels to be like this.... Maybe i need to go back and get more intense treatment. :(