This makes three months and a few days since losing our beautiful little girl, Averie. The past couple weeks have been like a relapse. I was beginning to get through some days a little easier but not last week. I was reminded by everything. Several of our friends are having & have had babies. The pain it gives us seeing their babies is deep. We are happy for them but just wish we had our baby, Averie, too. I have been going to counseling but I am not sure its beneficial. I was asked today by my counselor what I was planning to do with her things that I didnt want to "make a shrine" out of keeping her room intact for a long time. I am not the best at discussing or expressing my feelings so this process is difficult for me. My husband has discussed the situation a couple times just before bed --getting me all upset then he just falls asleep. I know his intent is to just discuss it but I dont sleep well anyway and stirring my mind makes it certain that I will not be sleeping. I may not go back to work. I feel like I need a break from that setting and focus on myself and family. just so many feelings/emotions -- seems like everyone thinks I should be over it. I can't & will never be "over it." I am having a hard time relating to others when they want to discuss the ball of shit in their lives--- i just want to as "but did you lose a child?"