It's hard to believe that since I'm just the grandmother, that I'm having a hard time.  I did watch him everyday after work and on Saturdays so I guess he was just like my own.  I just hate being alone.  That's when I really miss James.  I hung a shelf display with pictures and put some of his toys on it.  I think it makes me sadder, but I can't take it down.  My other grandchildren would probably ask too many questions.  They seem to be able to cope better than me and enjoys the shelf.