Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Last night was a good night for me. I am quite sure it was awful for my wife. For the first time since her affair we actually sat down and looked into each others eyes and talked about what happened and I was able to get closure on alot of subjects that had been bothering me. Besides the affair there was an event on St.Patricks day that happened and she actually told me the truth about that also(another near miss). Everything was finally put on the table and by the way she looked at me and her body language I could tell she was finally telling me the truth about everything. I have to tell you I feel calm for the first time since I caught her having the affair. I told her what I expected from our marriage and that if she could be honest about things from here on I could see a future with her. She said "right now you are the only person I want to be with" does this make me feel fully secure...no it leaves a hole for a future affair to happen, but right now I am going to let my defenses for the most part down and try through councelling and therapy together and try to make this broken marriage work. Will I be torn apart again? maybe who knows but for now I am going to have to trust her and try my best to move forward. At least If it dosen't work I can say I tried my best to make it work and if it does work yipeee!. My heart and head seem to be in sync for now so I take another step forward and look forward to going home tonight and seeing my wife with open and loving eyes again.