Sunday morning
Hi dear friends,
Just a general update; I corrected papers all day yesterday and took lots of little naps. The week tired me out - first week back after vacation, and filled with monotonous, laborious meetings. Feeling a bit more energized today. Sitting with Matt in a coffee shop to use the internet, get some more lessons planned for school....entering grades, blah blah blah.
I'm trying to enjoy Ziggy and Marley's company without feeling guilt. That part is hard (the guilt part). They are starting to learn their names a bit more (I think/hope!), and Ziggy is such a snuggle monster. Marley is quieter and definitely gravitates towards Matt -- sits on his lap all the time, sleeps next to him -- which is really nice, and I'm glad, but I miss having a kitty (Juno) follow me around from room to room, "talk" to me all the time, give me those lovely little love looks...sigh.
I pray every night for Juno to visit me in a dream, as I've mentioned before. Hasn't happened yet. : / I pray to God every night that he is happy and that he knows how much I miss and love him.
One thing that I've really been reflecting on is how weird time is. It's been about 4 months since Juno passed away, and it feels like FOREVER. YEARS. Matt says it's the mind's way of trying to heal itself, trying to compensate for what happened. That makes sense to me...but I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget a thing.
One of my favorite memories of Juno is him in his older days, sitting peacefully outside next to me on the back patio with his little face lifted against the light breeze, closing his eyes and just enjoying the sun and the summer wind. He LOVED that. Looked so sweet. Ah, I miss him so much. He was such a dear, such a beautiful spirit. I hope his energy is out there somewhere.
I take comfort in seeing his little altar in my bedroom, having him close to me in that regard, and yet sometimes I look at it and can't believe that he's in a little urn. :( It's hard for me to believe, actually.
I started off today in a decent mood and I don't want to ruin it, so I'm going to stop here. Forgive me. Sometimes it's just hard to reflect and I start to cry and get depressed all over again. But journal entries DO help immensely.
I hope you are all doing okay and hanging in there. The holidays are behind us; we've made it through! Let's hope that 2014 brings us peace of mind and peace in our hearts. We loved our fur babies as much as possible; we must remember that we gave them the best lives we could, and they knew that, and we must focus on that.
Hugs to you all. xoxoxo
Just a general update; I corrected papers all day yesterday and took lots of little naps. The week tired me out - first week back after vacation, and filled with monotonous, laborious meetings. Feeling a bit more energized today. Sitting with Matt in a coffee shop to use the internet, get some more lessons planned for school....entering grades, blah blah blah.
I'm trying to enjoy Ziggy and Marley's company without feeling guilt. That part is hard (the guilt part). They are starting to learn their names a bit more (I think/hope!), and Ziggy is such a snuggle monster. Marley is quieter and definitely gravitates towards Matt -- sits on his lap all the time, sleeps next to him -- which is really nice, and I'm glad, but I miss having a kitty (Juno) follow me around from room to room, "talk" to me all the time, give me those lovely little love looks...sigh.
I pray every night for Juno to visit me in a dream, as I've mentioned before. Hasn't happened yet. : / I pray to God every night that he is happy and that he knows how much I miss and love him.
One thing that I've really been reflecting on is how weird time is. It's been about 4 months since Juno passed away, and it feels like FOREVER. YEARS. Matt says it's the mind's way of trying to heal itself, trying to compensate for what happened. That makes sense to me...but I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget a thing.
One of my favorite memories of Juno is him in his older days, sitting peacefully outside next to me on the back patio with his little face lifted against the light breeze, closing his eyes and just enjoying the sun and the summer wind. He LOVED that. Looked so sweet. Ah, I miss him so much. He was such a dear, such a beautiful spirit. I hope his energy is out there somewhere.
I take comfort in seeing his little altar in my bedroom, having him close to me in that regard, and yet sometimes I look at it and can't believe that he's in a little urn. :( It's hard for me to believe, actually.
I started off today in a decent mood and I don't want to ruin it, so I'm going to stop here. Forgive me. Sometimes it's just hard to reflect and I start to cry and get depressed all over again. But journal entries DO help immensely.
I hope you are all doing okay and hanging in there. The holidays are behind us; we've made it through! Let's hope that 2014 brings us peace of mind and peace in our hearts. We loved our fur babies as much as possible; we must remember that we gave them the best lives we could, and they knew that, and we must focus on that.
Hugs to you all. xoxoxo
Replies
My biggest fear is forgetting as well. I will look at pictures and talk about Cookie just to make sure her memories don\'t leave me. I\'m glad that journaling is helping. Have a great week!
hold on to your decent mood as long as possible,there hard to get!! i hope you have a nice dream of juno soon.i know how the time thing feels,its only months but feels like years....its hard to think too deep into it,it makes me cry also.i try so hard to reign my thoughts in when i start thinking,before i get too upset.its good your kept busy,i think it helps our minds cope and heal a little better.we just can\'t keep going over and over everything,torturing ourselves.i wonder will i ever be able to let it go,the constant pain and guilt,i hope someday i can.hugs to you,glad your doing a little better xx