Friday, February 29, 2008
Today has been good exept i hate my social phobia. My husband wanted me to come to a service in his church, because, he and 2 of his friends are taking care of it and playing the music. But of course i couldnt go, i felt to bad about meeting people i don't know so i have been all day finding excuses not to go. And because i was so anxius about it my stomac was a mess so of course i couln't go. I feel awful about this because he needed me there and i feel like i'm letting him down. And tomorrow we are supposed to go to a birthday for my neese, but i don't think i can do it. I'm to anxius about meeting these people i haven't meet so long. And also it is a long way from home and there is lots of snow and icing on the roads. So i guess i'm excused not to go. Part of me is very happy about that but the other part is not because it has been almost a year i met these people. And they are good people. This is not a good thing, i feel like it is getting worse by the day. Not many places i still go to. My daughter's school, store, The doctor and the mall and yea my bestfriend's house but only if there are no other guests. I'm going to wait until i meet my new doctor, I'm not going to forse myself into anything i'm not ready to do. Well maybe that is not the right thing but thats what i feel i am ready to do right now. Later Ásta.