Catching up
No more math!!!!! Rachel's math grade is one percentage point short of an A in math. She has the highest score in the class. Only 4 of the students (All girls, thank your very much! Girls can't do math: Ha, ha.) that took the class passed --- I tutored Rachel weekly, and I tutored 2 of the other students on several occasions. The 4th passing student has a sister who is working on her math major. Scary! Teachers don't teach anymore. This math course was a computer-based Pearson's program, but the class met on campus twice a week with and instructor. The instructor didn't do much, and Pearson's math is a joke. The instructor and Pearson's provided 25%, at best, of the necessary foundation material and formulas that the students needed --- I put in a lot of man hours and provided pages and pages of the needed material and showed the girls how and when to use what. What did we do??? Linear equations: formulas for slope-intercept, point-slope, midpoint, distance .... Inequalities on the number line and the Cartesian coordinate system, and overlapping inequalities .... Solving polynomial equations using both real numbers and the quadratic formula ...... Conics: Completing squares, finding foci, directices, vertices, x- and y-assymptotes, centers, radii, axes, and formulas for parabolas, hyperbolas, circles, and ellipses .... Logarithms: power rules and transition rules for natural logarithms, exponential growth and decay, compounded interest ............. Solutions for multiple equations .... and then some! I was perpetually exhausted! I am so glad that I saved all of my stuff from college, including my TI-85 calculator! Rachel is glad that her mommy has a Bachelor's Degree in mathematics.
Rachel has had a rough go, too. Her mother-in-law had to have open heart surgery about two weeks ago. The MIL was hospitalized for about two weeks before they could get her stable enough for the surgery Rachel's husband's job is very demanding, and his dad is "forgetful". So, Rachel took the brunt of responsibility for her MIL's welfare. Rachel has power of attny for the medical care of her MIL and FIL. Rachel also has two step-sons: and 18 year-old with mental disabilities, and a very active 11 year-old. She has held up like a trooper. When she was growing up, Rachel thought that I was too hard on her. Her friends had it so much easier. But now, she sees why I gave her responsibilities and held her accountable for her actions, or inactions.
Tim has the garden planted (corn, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, onions, bell pepper, green beans, etc.). He is working on the front porch. I guess we are doing okay with our marriage, but I still have misgivings. We don't talk about the future, so I don't know what he intends to do when the house is squared away.
I'm having misgivings about church, too. I have grown to hate going to church (our church is part of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC)). I just show up for services, and that is pretty much it. I used to teach Sunday school and work in vacation Bible school. No more. I feel like women don't really count. The church we are at now really stresses a patriarchal church. Women can sing in the choir, cook for fellowship meals, and tend to small children (the age range I'm most comfortable with is 12-18 yrs.!), with our husbands" permission, of course. We wives are supposed to submit to our husbands in all things. Everything is based on the assumption that the epistles the Apostle Paul wrote are timeless, apply worldwide -- not just to the churches to whom Paul wrote and their culture. Women are not allowed to speak in our Sunday school class, or at church business meetings. Only men can have the "gifts" Paul speaks about. Women are "of equal worth, but have different roles". Jesus is over men, and men are over women. Bottom line: men issue orders, women follow orders. SBC churches revolve around men. If the men want it all in church, as far as I'm concerned, they can have it all. I'll stay out of their way! Russell Moore, president of the SBC's Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, says this about Christian marriages: "Married couples who consider themselves equal partners are violating biblical law ..... . ...... marital closeness can undermine biblical teachings. The Bible instructed Christian women to be subservient to their husbands, who in turn are commanded to be faithful to their wives." I wonder, is this how Tim views our marriage now??? I'm not sure if I am a person, or if I'm just chattel. How do I get past his behavior towards me over the past few years, and how do I deal with church teachings on the second class citizen status of women? How do I know what to brace for in the future as far as Tim is concerned? How do I approach him with my doubts?
If anyone out there has any ideas, I'm open.
A lot more has been going on, but my journal would be way too long if I tell it all!
Happy finally springtime to everyone!
Rachel has had a rough go, too. Her mother-in-law had to have open heart surgery about two weeks ago. The MIL was hospitalized for about two weeks before they could get her stable enough for the surgery Rachel's husband's job is very demanding, and his dad is "forgetful". So, Rachel took the brunt of responsibility for her MIL's welfare. Rachel has power of attny for the medical care of her MIL and FIL. Rachel also has two step-sons: and 18 year-old with mental disabilities, and a very active 11 year-old. She has held up like a trooper. When she was growing up, Rachel thought that I was too hard on her. Her friends had it so much easier. But now, she sees why I gave her responsibilities and held her accountable for her actions, or inactions.
Tim has the garden planted (corn, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, onions, bell pepper, green beans, etc.). He is working on the front porch. I guess we are doing okay with our marriage, but I still have misgivings. We don't talk about the future, so I don't know what he intends to do when the house is squared away.
I'm having misgivings about church, too. I have grown to hate going to church (our church is part of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC)). I just show up for services, and that is pretty much it. I used to teach Sunday school and work in vacation Bible school. No more. I feel like women don't really count. The church we are at now really stresses a patriarchal church. Women can sing in the choir, cook for fellowship meals, and tend to small children (the age range I'm most comfortable with is 12-18 yrs.!), with our husbands" permission, of course. We wives are supposed to submit to our husbands in all things. Everything is based on the assumption that the epistles the Apostle Paul wrote are timeless, apply worldwide -- not just to the churches to whom Paul wrote and their culture. Women are not allowed to speak in our Sunday school class, or at church business meetings. Only men can have the "gifts" Paul speaks about. Women are "of equal worth, but have different roles". Jesus is over men, and men are over women. Bottom line: men issue orders, women follow orders. SBC churches revolve around men. If the men want it all in church, as far as I'm concerned, they can have it all. I'll stay out of their way! Russell Moore, president of the SBC's Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, says this about Christian marriages: "Married couples who consider themselves equal partners are violating biblical law ..... . ...... marital closeness can undermine biblical teachings. The Bible instructed Christian women to be subservient to their husbands, who in turn are commanded to be faithful to their wives." I wonder, is this how Tim views our marriage now??? I'm not sure if I am a person, or if I'm just chattel. How do I get past his behavior towards me over the past few years, and how do I deal with church teachings on the second class citizen status of women? How do I know what to brace for in the future as far as Tim is concerned? How do I approach him with my doubts?
If anyone out there has any ideas, I'm open.
A lot more has been going on, but my journal would be way too long if I tell it all!
Happy finally springtime to everyone!
Replies
Wow, that quote you included is horrifying. I can totally understand your misgivings about being at that church. I believe Paul\'s letters must be taken in context to the churches and cultures they were directed to. To do otherwise is to negate what God himself did in creation by making Adam and Eve co-regents. I think the most biblical thing we can do is try to emulate the pre-Fall garden as much as we can. A man and a woman, ruling together in peace and without power struggles. I know, good luck with that one! Honestly, your church sounds spiritually abusive. Jesus didn\'t like that kind of thing. He used to get pretty whipped up about people laying a heavy burden on others. I\'m glad your house is getting fixed at the very least. Much love to you. It was good to hear from you.
Excuse me PR.what language were you speaking in? OH maths! Bit alien to me.Well I did actually study Maths 1 & Maths 2 for 5yrs at high school and I know it\'s hidden somewhere in my brain.You mentioned Calculator. Now we\'re talking baby!! Lol! You are obviously a very smart little cookie when it comes to maths.Your daughter is fortunate to have your expert help.The other girls also.
Rachael sure has a lot of responsibility there and not easy .However she is a ROCK just like her mama.You have taught her well for sure.
That church sounds like the dark ages or something.God gives us the intelligence to understand our eternal constitutional position.We are not these physical bodies.We are eternal spirit souls.Spiritually equal.Our relationship with God is based on love and is in no way limited by the gender of our physical temporary body.To see a female as being inferior or spiritually limited is ignorance.We do not need a man or to answer to a man to advance spiritually. If we choose to serve our husband it must come from our own freedom of choice and love, rather than pressure or expectation.The reciprocation between the couple should be based on love and respect and in a consciouness of equality.If Tim is going to adopt this dumb attitude of the church, there is no way you will accept this.You are not stupid.
The garden sounds delightful.Yum!! Bye lots of love Di xo
Girl, you lost me at Linear Equations. How lucky Rachel is to have a mom.that is such a smart cookie! I\'m impressed with your skillz. Boy, she sure does have a lot on her plate. Glad she\'s got such a supportive mama!
My brain is very crashy but Di and Tri spoke so well about how you\'re feeling about your church. Such wise friends we have here!
Glad to hear from you. Loved the pics you shared.
Big ole hugs...
MATH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I hated it. I absolutely never understood a bit of it, and graduated by the skin of my teeth because of it!! GO RACHEL!! Do well and make mama proud. You sure did put in a lot of time with those girls, PR! That was awesome. How wonderful that you remember this stuff. Jeepers, I don\'t remember what toilet tissue I bought last week. I\'ll have to take a calculater to the grocery store next time! LOL!
GOOD GRIEF! Man, are they off the track in that church or what?? I\'m not going to go into the teaching\'s of Paul. Don\'t get me started. But at no time did Jesus advocate that woman was \"less than\" man. Rather he created woman to HELP man. We are helpers, we are supporters. I think Jesus knew that men could never be left alone. Otherwise, you end up with churches teaching the way yours is. I\'m betting that this is why Tim is so confused about his role in this marriage, and yours! Look at the trouble his attitude has caused!! Surely this is not what God intends a marriage to be. You are to be as one!! I dunno....seems like people are making the Word of God to suit their own agendas! That NEVER works. God will stop it. It\'s false teaching. Be discerning, and get away from it! Praying for you, PT! xox
That is really great that you have a gift and love for mathematics!
We need more teaches such as yourself. A true love for numbers & teaching.
Mathematics are very difficult for me to learn. I seem to get that once you learn the rules,its becomes more or better to understand. I am setting aside one day a week to learn algebra. I was in hopes of getting my GED but I don\'t know if I will ever get there. I bet your very proud of your daughter. She takes after her Mom. I don\'t belong to any church. Went to church with my Grandmother when I was little,Presbyterian. I think a womans voice is important too. I don\'t like to discuss religion or religious beliefs. So I will leave it there. I hope your daughters MIL is going to be okay. Marriage is Hard anyways. I don\'t know if I could be subservient . I was raised in a church nor was my rights as a child honored either so I think that factors in as well.
To me your grounded,a good woman,mom,wife and you will with time decide what is best for you. and greenies
I\'m happy to hear Rachel did so well in her class - it sounds like you should be the one teaching it and not the goofy program they are using. I have a vague memory of most of the things you wrote about, but they have all drifted away from me over time. The highest level of math I took in college was Calculus, and got an A in the class. I remember NOTHING. If you don\'t use it, you lose it, right? I am impressed that you got a degree in mathematics and can still help people understand it. Rachel sounds like a great girl, and you did an amazing job raising her - she knows how to be responsible - that says a lot these days. As far as the view of the SBC - it sounds pretty extreme. I was in a church many years ago that held a view similar to that, but my husband found it as strange as I did and we got out of there as fast as we could. One thing I have never understood is not letting women teach men, but then letting them teach children. We can be trusted with vulnerable young people, but not with supposedly mature adult males? Makes absolutely no sense.
Sorry for my delay in seeing your journal. Yay for Rachel and your brains! Fab news :)
RE: Women, the church and Tim\'s possible views..
It is not acceptable behaviour to treat anyone, race, colour, creed, disability or sex as a second class citizen, in my opinion. All rights are human rights and I would feel very uncomfortable in a marriage with someone in which this was perhaps a grey area. I am sure your guts feelings will lead you straight, everyone is different. I hope Tim opens himself up to more conversation, but men are rarely open to conversation without help! Love and luck to you xxxx