loveandlight has been journaling a lot about fight and flight mode lately.  Her journals reminded me of a dream I had several months ago.  The dream weighed so heavily on my mind the over next few days that I wrote a poem about the dream.  So, I dug the poem out and decided to share it with my cfs friends.  The poem is bad, but it decribes my dream, which is a perfect example of fight or flight.  I think it also describes the loss many of us suffer as well as the hopes to which we still cling.  (FYI: I ran track in elementary and junior high:  the mile, the 440, and the 880 - that may make my dream make a little more sense to you.)

The Running Dream

A few nights ago, I had a bad dream:
A bad, terribly wonderful dream.
It's the only nightmare I've ever loved,
Because I could run, and run, and run!

I was all alone in my childhood home
When darkness came creeping in,
And someone, or some thing came after me.
So in fear for my life, I ran!

I burst out the door and across the yard,
Into the thicket, beside of the barn.
As I crouched down on the November cold ground,
I trembled from cold, and fear I'd be found.
Who knows by what, or by whom, or when.
When the time was right: I ran!  I ran again!

I sprang from the thicket and flew through the field!
My feet barely touched the sand,
As down to the creek and into the woods,
In search of safety, I ran.

How the dream ended, I don't know.
That wasn't the point of the dream.
Oh my, what a dream!  My fear became fun,
Because I could run, and run, and run!



Pilot this dream makes PERFECT sense! All of it! I\'m glad you told us that you were a runner. You just explained in your horrible/wonderful dream, that what you once loved crept in on your in your innocence and stole your dream, your running dream. And to escape this \"thief\" you ran again!! How wonderful! You could run again.

Our dreams are such good indicators of our fears and our loves and the things we cannot figure out.

You were in flight from CFS. YET, you were able to run from it! Surely you wouldn\'t have an ending to this dream, because of the unknown. Because we don\'t know if help will be found for us. Yet you found beauty at the end of all of this upheaval. Your gift of running returned!!

Your poem is very evocative - it sounds like you were free from all your limitations and cares - even though fear was your initial response. You sounded very free!

Thanks for the poem. Your dream was intense and fearful and you were on your own, unprotected.It represents your very real emotions you are experiencing in your relationship with Tim.The fact that he suggested you could stay behind by yourself, has made you feel abandoned and unprotected. So you introduced your past gift of running into your dream to save yourself, to flee from the fear which was represented as an intruder.Your running gave you all the strength you needed to survive, nothing or no one could hurt you.You had power to protect yourself. Hope you don\'t mind me giving my own interpretation, my friend.Also many people find themselves in their childhood homes when experiencing intense, emotional dreams.It is very common.Happy you turned your dream into a poem and so glad you tapped into those power horse legs, whils dreaming

Hey pilot why did you pick the month of November.?

Just read your journal again and realized your dream was months ago, not recently . Can\'t remember how long ago it was when Tim said you were moving . Don\'t think it was months ago was it? Bye, love Di