IF you are reading this then it probably just popped up on your screen and you are either looking for something or are really out there surfing deep into self help or panic attacks. This is just me getting out all the bullshit of the day. I have been feeling exhausted and horrible. I cannot breath right but I will find a way to fix myself. Though I really should not be trying to fix anything, just slowly mold into who I want to be. Being pain all the time sucks, so sick of it. Even talking about it brings it to the front of my mind and then I need to force it back down so I goes back to the dark little hole it belongs in. I did some yoga the other day, and that seemed to loosen up everything, though I was exhausted afterwards. I cannot wait for summer and being done with school for 3 or 4 months. I NEED a break and need to focus on getting back into a less round shape. Walking through a store would wind me and my heart pounds. I am sleeping all the time. The medications are useless, but I keep on taking them. I need to rest my brain. When I read my book, listen to my relaxation music, exercise, and vent properly I can function. I can do it. just have to keep pushing. So tired of pushing and pulling and crashing through walls in my life. Nothing is smooth. I will find a balance again.