hello! im feeling better today...  i got called a tramp buy some stupid bitches that got my bf to dump me but other than that my day was pretty good. me and my cuz hung out and stuff. im like way tired today! i thought lots today bout life and death.. it was grand. i thought bout how nobody will be here forever and how i am scared shitless of losing the ppl that i love. im not too scared of me dying just the ppl around me. thats like my biggest fear. losing everybody. idk i just feel so depressed lately and i have no idea what causes it. of course i hide it from everybody but i know that my really close friends know something is up. i mean i used to cut and stuff and ive even thought bout doing that stuff again... i even thought bout just ending it right here and now but that thought got out of my head really quick when i thought of all my friends and my lil bro and sis. i love them all so much and would never put them through pain and my lil bro and sis need me to much for me to leave them. its just i dont know how much more of this i can take. i don't even know what ill do if life keeps going on like this. its all really confusing and yeah i just don't know what to do anymore. but ill eventually be fine. i have to be. thats enough for today. ttyl luvs