Things have been really rough here lately.  I really can't wait to go away.  Trying to make a long story short:1)  David's check at the cardiologist went ok.  They think his heart walls are just thick and nothing to be concerned about.  So, ok there.2)  David has no residual affects from his accident, but still no bike riding and sparring at karate.  3)  Homework is just bad.  He just refuses to do homework.  This past Friday, we could not get him out of bed and he basically says he is not going to school.  Paul and I had to physically drag his butt out of bed, dress him and kick him out the door.  He caught the bus as it was going by our house.4)  He got 2 write ups on the school bus already.  1 for mouthing off to the bus driver.  2)  You know the little "tubes" of dirt that pop out when you aerate the lawn?  David filled a baggy with tubes of dirt, brought them on the school bus and told everyone they were dog doo!  So he got written up for bringing dog doo on the bus.  Next write up, he gets kicked off.5)  He got a detention the other day for calling a kid a "ball licker".6)  On Friday, ALL of his books and notes were stolen at school.  So now we have to replace it ALL!  More money!7)  David was over his friends house a few afternoons ago.  According to David (and this one part I do believe), his friend told him to go into his mom's office to look for an airsoft gun that the mother had taken away.  David got caught by the mother going through her file cabinets!  I took David over to apologize.  The other kid is 9 and he kind of admitted to me that he told David to go in there.  But David should have known better.  So now I am mortified.  This was a friend that he just met and started hanging out with a few months ago.8)  David refuses to follow rules.  Found food in his room again.  Including a "cooked" petrified blueberry waffle in a drawer.  Found another pair of my fance underwear in a pocket of his pants.  He refuses to say why he keeps doing this, but again, he is going in my room and going through my drawers.  Paul put locks on my bedroom door but after a while, we got lazy about locking the door.  What a pain in the butt!  He was told by the doctor not to ride his bike for another month.  Caught him riding his bike.  His response, "Screw what the doctor says."  He is not allowed to walk the dog outside of my development.  The "main" road is 2 lanes each direction and there is a sidewalk.  The speed limit is 30 mph.  But the sidewalk is right on the road and people speed.  And Kona is extremely afraid of cars and pulls.  I am so afraid she will bolt when he is not careful and break away and bolt across the road and get hit by a car.  Well, David disappeared today (has the day off) for over an hour with the dog.  Tells me he took the dog up to the High School.  That means he had to take her on the main road.  So he broke the rules again.  He says he had her under control, but she has an imprinted mark on her nose from the collar, so I know she was pulling him.  I just don't know if I could ever forgive him if anything happened to her because he decided to break my rule.  9)  There are just too many other things to mention.  David is now on Straterra.  We have to wait a month to see if improvement.  I can say, I haven't seen any yet but it has only been 1 1/2 weeks.  He is not even getting school work done in school.  We are looking into getting him a 504 plan.  Also, David had a severe rash covering both his feet so more doctor visits.  I tell him not to walk through people's yards, he does any way.  Refuses to do chores around house.  Have taken everything away:  tv, video games, going out the play, etc.  The new one now is taking the dog for a walk and not coming back for 2 hrs. Now after today, that is going to stop.  I don't trust him.10)  Paul is shut down.  I think both Paul and David need depression meds.  Paul watches tv.  He has bouts of crying.  He is angry a lot.  I am surrounded by 2 people who are not functioning.11)  Work is still brutal.  Worked over the weekend.  Working some nights.  My house is a mess and I feel really out of it myself and very unproductive.  Have not been to the Y in weeks.  Not even wearing the pedometer as too depressing.  Forget the diet and exercise. I am going to Florida on Friday to go stay with my Dad and stepmom for a week.  By myself.  Will be nice to get away.  My game plan is to kick myself back in gear when I get back.  The good news in all of this is that I have not gained any weight back.  But I just cannot continue to live like this.  I have been so weighed down, I have not even felt like coming here to DS.  After all, how can I support anyone else when I am so far down in a hole?

Replies

ZECILKL
ZECILKL

Kahlua ds is the place to come when you feel down... now it\'s your turn to get some help... you don\'t have to be the one to help everyone all the time... take a deep breath.... you are under so much stress..... i hope writing the journal helped a bit w/that....
Did all these problems start or get worse when he was (david) put on the Straterra? I know you\'ve had problems w/him before but i remember you saying that he seemed better off the old meds.....
Should you need to message me and we can chat... or message back and forth...
i know you are carring a heavy burden......

It is wonderful that you did not gain any weight......

Enjoy your trip to your Dad\'s you need and deserve it.....hugs
htag
htag

Oh sweetie, How overwehlming for you. I\'m glad that you are getting a much needed get away though. Please take care of yourself during this time. I will pray that you come back refreshed and ready to take on life again. I pray that you will find peace within your family, and I pray that your family finds the happiness you ALL deserve. I know nothing I say is going to make a differance in your home life, but I\'m here if you ever need to vent away. I have great ears for listening. I have a great shoulder to cry on. If ever you need those, PM me, and I\'ll give you my number for you to call. Hugs.
JoyceMarilyn
JoyceMarilyn

I wish I could wave a wand and make everything better! Have you gone back to the Dr and asked about the new meds? Are there other options?
My grandson had a bad time in High School and in the end he managed to get expelled and had to go to one of the \'special schools\'. It ended up being his salvation...he found a teacher that cared and got him interested in music. So there maybe a rainbow after the storm!

Hang in there and enjoy your vacation!0
deleted_user
deleted_user

I agree! I am sorry things are rough lately, and glad you came on here and talked about it all with us. Enjoy that vacation - you deserve it!