Wow.  What a couple of weeks!  I need a little less drama in my life.  I need to just keep reminding myself that 1)  God does not give us more than we can handle.  2)  There are so many people that are so much worse off than me and I need to just deal with things and count my blessings. So in the last few weeks:  David got on a fight on the school bus.  3 day suspension out of school.  He repeatedly says the other kid started it.  Finally went to the school yesterday to view the bus video and it really looks bad for my son that he started it (physically.)  David flipped out when the other kid (bear in mind this other kid is in 4th grade) that he was f*&$ing his mother and his sister was a whore.  So multiple meetings over that.  Found a new counselor for David.  I like her.  Just so far 1 meeting with Paul and I.  Praying for help here.  In the meantime, multiple screaming, rage, depression episdoes between Paul and David.  Paul broke down one night and just bawled all night on the floor.  No one has been getting any real sleep.  David is getting up at night and eating, watching tv, etc.  Sometimes it may actually be sleep walking and sometimes just can't sleep.  Meanwhile, a lot of crankiness around here.  I just think Paul needs medication.  He had the nerve the other morning to scream at me that it is my fault he does not have a job.  Bear in mind that Paul has been self employed for what, like 10 years?   One of my coworkers quit.  There were only 4 of us to begin with and we were already overworked.  I am not sure if they are going to replace her.  I am already beat up by this job.  Just got back from meeting the widow of a man who died last week from a fire in their home.  She got out, he didn't.  It was just awful and just sapped me mentally.  With the stock prices down, etc, I think we are in a hiring freeze, so I am not looking at getting any help soon.  All I can say is, Thank God it is not November and we are short handed.  At least for now.   David came home the other night saying "call 911.  Some man hit me."  David called 911 and hung up, unkown to me until I got the call from the 911 dispatcher asking if I called 911.  Try to make a long story short, one of the boys, including my son, pointed a toy gun (which looked real) at a mentally challenged man.  He apparently took the gun away.  The one boy who my son has issues with, blamed the entire thing on my son.  The one cop who was here was really upset and really gave my son a difficult time to try to scare him.  I know my son was there, but I don't think he is the one who pointed the gun.  But with the recent rash of lies, how can I tell when he is lying and when he is telling me the truth?   Totally blowing my diet.  Some exercise.  Feeling very overwhelmed and just totally overridden with guilt, which then causes me to keep repeating the binge cycle.  Also, have been smoking a few cigarettes here and there.  Cravings are bad lately with the stress.  The guilt has been crushing and at times debilitating.  I need to take a deep breath and get back on track. DS system was very slow.  Sometimes brutally slow.  And over the last 6-8 months, I have spent so much time here.  I just needed a little time away and to try to get some work done and I hate to constantly be negative and complain.  I enjoy coming here and especially to try to be supportive of others.  So I truly appreciate my friends.  Hopefully this week, DS system will be a little faster and I can catch up with all of you.  Thanks for all of your love and support!