Another roller coaster week- eating good, then bingeing.  Exercising, then excuses.  Still trying to get back on track.  I know when I was being consistent with the eating and exercise, I felt better.  I need to remind myself of that.  And I keep beating myself up- "Wow, I could have been 10 or 20 lbs closer to my goal if I had exercised more or not binged."  Then I get mad or sad and don't get back to doing what I need to do.  So I have to focus on the positive.  I am still at around 154.  I am not weighing myself today.  I am just going to refocus and see where I end up next Sunday.  I walked the dog today and will take her out again later.  It has been a tad warmer, so no more excuses about it being too cold.  Also, if I go for 3 walks a day at 10 min each, that is 30 mins!  So ever little walk counts.   I signed up to be on our karate studio's team for the MS walk on Sunday, 5/3/09.  It is pretty cool.  Already got over $100 in donations.  It is 5k.  Will be my first one!  I think that is like 3 miles.  So I have to really get into shape to do this.  I have a little over 1 1/2 months.  So I am excited and scared at the same time.  But will be walking with friends, so it will be fun and they will help push me.  My friend has MS, my cousin has MS and one of my dear coworker's wife has MS and is doing really really bad.  So I want to lose a little more weight.  I am not going to beat myself up but I need to keep going.  If it takes me a year, than it takes me a year.   Doing good today.  Cleaning, walking the dog, eating well.  Drinking some water.   Work has slowed down but I have some really difficult customers right now that are taking up so much of my time and energy.  Sometimes I need to step back and say that this is just a job.  I take everything so personally.  It is why I am good at my job but also why I sometimes can't sleep at night.   My Aspire class at the YMCA is going ok.  First week was on perceptions and how the media potrays the "perfect body image."  Was pretty interesting but not really learning anything new.  I guess it was good though to reinforce things.  2nd week was cancelled due to snow.  This past Monday was on emotional eating, bingeing, etc.  Basically how to recognize what is causing it.  I think this week coming up is how to control it better.  So I am really interested in that one.  There was one woman that I sat next to.  A widow who appeared to be really lonely.  My heart just went out to her.  I think I will give her my phone number this week.  I have lost all of my friends myself over the last few years.  I still have my husband, but I certainly can undertand the loneliness.   Anyway, hanging in there.  Can't look at the Lands End or other clothing ads for a while.  Dying to buy new clothes but refuse until I can at least go down a size.  So I need to re-motivate myself.  I also need to try to steal a little time for myself, between exercise and also reading again.  I desperately want to get back to reading a book every week.  I really miss my reading.