Husband lost his last account. He is self employed. Now cranky and yelling all of the time. I am so tired of him snapping at David and I. I don't care if he goes to be a Walmart greeter, but he needs to do something. This depression and roller coaster is just driving me nuts. I am tired of walking on egg shells. And if I am happy about something he sabotages it. Misery loves company I guess. He is jealous of my job. Jealous of my award and recognition. Jealous of my mom and other family members. Jealous of my trip to Florida to be with my Dad and stepmom. Now I think he is even jealous of my weight loss. He has to put me down when I don't go work out but then when I get up early to work out he is upset that I wake him. And I am so careful being quiet and not waking anyone. I just feel like I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. I can't MAKE him happy. Only he can do that. I am tired of not feeling good enough. And husband and son are SO good at blaming everyone else for everything. UGH! I try to ignore him and keep to myself and keep the happy things to myself. Then he is mad I am ignoring him. Sometimes I feel this relationship is lopsided- me always picking him up all of the time. What happens if I am down or depressed? Who picks me up? I cannot let any of this get in the way of my goals. I have to be selfish in this aspect. I still keep praying that some of this will rub off on him. That he will exercise, eat better, feel better. I don't know what the answer is for him but he needs to snap out of it! Even the puppy runs and hides under my desk!
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I\'m so sorry things are this hard for you right now. I can understand where you are coming from..I spent nearly four years living in that kind of marriage before my ex decided to walk out on us. I hope your husband comes around and you can work things out.
Yeah, been throught this before. Not fun. Men\'s heads are different then us! They are (in thier minds) the leader, the protector, the breadwinner, blah, blah. He is feeling real inadequate (sp) right now and you are excelling! Yeah, he is jealous! I remember years back when my income started getting close to Hubbies, he got real pissy! I realized real quick that if I ever made more $ than he did - my marriage was over. I know that seems really stupid but that is how MEN are! It doesn\'t make sense, it just is! Your Hubby has to feel worthwill again.
Another thought, I always said that men married women so they had someone to blame Sh*&t on! Where would they be without us!
Hugs to you!
Thanks guys! This helps. Venting on here and having other people say \"yeah, I know how you feel\" sounds dumb (and I hate to think that other people go through this S*@t too) but it helps to know I am not alone.
Men (most of them) lash out when they are angry and hurt. They assign blame to people and circumstances outside of them. Women (most of them) internalize this blame and feel guilty. In extrme form, women commit suicide and men homicide. Marriage sure isn\'t what it\'s cracked up to be. We do seem to function as magnets for blame and nastiness. The sweet guys are usually dependent and often addicted, but at least they are too passive or too indifferent to lash out. If we women take care of business, they are content to leech. :)
Well sounds like you are pretty busy busy based on your last journal and this journal. Sorry you have been so busy with work but that is a good thing really. Bet you can\'t wait to just get away and I don\'t blame you at all. I can\'t believe x-mas is right around the corner too, just a weird x-mas, not in the spirit just yet but I know in time it will get here when the families are together. Hope your hubby gets out of his rutt and realizes he need to take care of himself to be happy and make everyone else happy too. That stinks about is account, wish him the best. Just keep doing what you are doing cuz you are doing this for you and for you to become a better person. Don\'t ever give up on yourself no matter what. Stay strong and we all are here to support you! Big Hugs!!!!! Things will get better right? Kathy
Yes! I know exactly how you feel!!! :( Been there, done that! And NO! you are not alone!!! :/
Sorry to hear that your \"best friend\" is not being that for you! :( I thought mine was my BF too! UGH!
Well, i guess we just need to learn to be \"our own\" best friends huh? :)
I carried my hub too when he lost a job...due to his own mistakes...i supported him all the way..and stood beside him and encouraged him that he could do anything he put his mind to...And we started our own Company! :)
But, I have to tell you, to be honest, if you tell him to just go be a Wal-mart greeter...it might make him feel less than!!! Esp if he worked for himself and did well at what he did! IDK...I\'m sure you are just venting that tho. :)
I would suggest counseling for him or you both if that avenue has not been ventured yet! Maybe you will get your BF back...
I know how hard it is to concentrate on your own stuff...like excercising and eating well, when you are dealing with the hub, and walking on eggshells, every step of the way! it can become a massive mountain to climb!!! :/
Hang in there and keep writing...venting is very beneficial, and the support from others is a huge help also! Since we are not receiving that from our hubs! :(
HUGE HUGS
I wish my husband would go to ocunseling. I am not against going with him. We have been going with David to counseling for 8 years. My problem with going right now is that I think Paul needs to get his head on straight. He needs to figure out what he wants from life and what is going to make him happy. He has 3 college degrees: BS and MS and chemistry and MBA in marketing. So I totally get the \"feeling less than\". I know where the jealousy is coming from. I totally agree with you guys. I get so much self satisfaction from my job and my boss and my customers and co workers (ok, well not ALL of my customers!) He doesn\'t have anyone (but me) rooting him on or praising him. I KNOW that men developing their sense of self out of their jobs and he has lost that over and over. But sitting around here being miserable and stewing is not facing his problems.
Venting here does help me big time. Better than venting to DH. He takes it the wrong way. Gets very defensive. Understandably. But he is stuck in limbo and cannot make even some of the easiest decisions. That just has me worried.