I knew I should have stayed in bed.  Woke up at 5am with cramps.  Got my period.  Ugh!.  Now cramps, bloating and face broken out.  Guess that explains why I have been craving, and yes eating, chocolate.  Binged the last two nights with my eating.  So I feel awful about that.  Was off of work Monday and Tuesday on personal days.  Got 3 new fire losses today (so far) as of lunch time and the day is not over yet.  And I had doubled up on my inspections for this week so I am now scheduled through Wednesday of next week.  And the boss called and gave me pressure this am.  And 30 emails and 25 voice mail messages of "Where is my Check?" and "When are you going to settle my claim?"  And I am not looking at any office time until January, so any estimates that get written will be at night or on a weekend on my own time.  I just want to crawl in a hole and go back to bed.  And to top it all off, I have a dentist appointment in an hour to get a cavity filled.  I know part of it is hormones and part of it is the day I am having but I just feel like crying SO BAD!  And it is raining out.   God, I just have to survive the next few days.  I am sure I will be repeating myself many times over until the end of January or into February when things slow down.   I am supposed to drive to Florida by myself the Saturday after Christmas to go stay with my Dad.  I miss him so much and I am so torn and feel so guilty.  Do I really want to drive by myself 17 hours each way?  Can I handle it?  (With my son David of course.)  It has been over a year since I have seen my Dad and Stepmom.  Paul does not want to go and just as well he stays home.  He is a wet blanket at my Dad's and is very jealous of my time with him.  But that is the other kicker is he makes me feel guilty for leaving him even though it is his choice!  But at least he would be able to stay home with the puppy.  There is no way I could ask my mom to watch her again so soon.  The cost to fly, as it is a holiday week, is $400 each round trip.  I cannot see $800 to fly to Florida for David and I.  And the Amtrak train is completely booked.  I think I can leave at 6am that Saturday and get to my Dad's by 11pm and go right to bed.  The following Saturday I would have to leave around 2 or 3pm and stay somewhere 1/2 way overnight.  I could sure use some rest.  Would I be better off staying home?  Then I would not be home with Paul for New Years.  But I haven't seen my Dad in over a year!  Neither has David.  So if we don't go now, I don't know when I could go again, unless I go in the Spring by myself.  I feel so torn.  And it would be hard and a little scary driving all those hours.  I don't know what to do.