Paul took Sneakers to the vet last night and had her put to sleep.  We buried her today in the backyard and had a little cermony for her.  Broke my heart.  Very quiet today, even with the dog.  Again, sad but almost a relief as she was just crying in pain for the last 3 days.  I just could not stand to be here and sleeping?  Forget it.  There was her "meow" for hello" and another for when she was hungry.  There was a cry for discomfort when she had hairballs and was about to vomit.  But this was really awful.  My Aunt had come over Thanksgiving to travel with us to my Mom's for dinner and she went to say Goodbye and agreed.  But if she was suffering (and it was obvious), how come I feel so bad?  I feel like a killer.  Before Paul took her, she was curled up and barely moving and I knew it was only a matter of time anyway.  But I still feel bad.  I still feel guilt (almost 3 years later) over having to put Kahlua down.  I could not watch and I remember her face looking at me when I left the room.  It still rips me up.  Kona avoided the cat like the plague for the last few days.  I am sure she realized the cat was dying.  Now we got rid of the gate dividing the house in two and she has run of the house.  She is acting a little kooky today.  Figure she misses the cat in her own way.   On a better note, we went to see Trans Siberian Orchestra concert tonight.  Me, Paul, David and my Mom.  I had gone last year and enjoyed it immensely.  The concert was great.  Got us out of the house and kept our minds off other things.  I did well on my diet all week and even on my exercises.  I really even did OK on Thanksgiving.  But tonight I blew it.  Dread getting on the scale in the AM.  And it stinks to think that I worked so hard all week.  Bumped up the exercises.  Got a new Omron pedometer that you can plug into the computer and keep track of everything.  Even after today, the week was good.  But eating that the day before I weight myself stinks.  I had a hot dog and popcorn at the concert and then stopped off at Nifty Fifties on the way home and had a hamburger and Fries.  (skipped the chocolate milkshake and drank a diet coke.)  So I feel guilty again.  I guess it is just a day of guilt for me. I can't let this one day derail my goal.